“You deserve your first time to be with a guy who can promise you more than one night.” I want to tear down the world at the thought of her being with someone else. But she deserves love and happiness, even if it can’t be me who gives it to her. “Never sell yourself short like that.”
“But you don’t do that. You have one-night stands, right?”
I frown, but I don’t answer.
“So, why isn’t it okay for me to have sex for just one night?” She narrows her eyes. Feisty Olivia is so damned hot.
“It’s not the same thing.”
“Double standard much?”
I don’t answer her, just kiss the top of her head again. Her hair smells like my shampoo, and I find I like that. She sighs. It’s a frustrated, discontented sound, like an annoyed cat.
The truth is, I’m dying to make her come, but my fear is that if I do, I won’t stop there. I’m too aroused to trust my restraint. So instead, I say, “This is enough. This is everything.”
“This is everything.” She cuddles closer, deeper. “But it’s not enough.”
“It will have to be.”
This time, she doesn’t argue.
After a few minutes, I break the silence. “Olivia, after tonight, when we say goodbye tomorrow, I can’t…” I halt, because what I have to say seems so wrong, but I need to be upfront. I’m hiding so much else. I can’t lead her on.
She puts a finger to my mouth. Her eyes are somber. “Shh. I know, Chase. You’ve already made it more than clear. I’m a big girl. I don’t expect you to call me. You’ve been honest. Brutally so,” she says with a small laugh. “Despite my inexperience, I know how these things work.”
The hell of it is, she is wrong, so damn wrong. She doesn’t have a clue how I feel. How hard it will be to give her up in the morning.
I close my eyes, memorizing her every contour, her every breath. “Good night.”
“G’night,” she breathes.
And it has been. Despite it all, I relax completely with her in my arms, her weight a soft anchor against me. I close my eyes and know a sleep that’s better, deeper, warmer, softer than I’ve ever had waits for me. Because it’s with her.
When I wake the next morning, it’s with Olivia in my arms and a deep comfort in my heart.
The wanting hasn’t left in the night.
Olivia shifts. The soft early light falls over her face and curves like a caress. She rubs her curvy ass against me, and I’m not able to keep from shifting back into her. She lets out a breathy moan, but when I look down, she’s still asleep with a blissful smile. I kiss the top of her head so as not to wake her.
I’d never been one for cuddling before.
On the rare occasions a woman stays in my bed all night, I’m up and out first thing, not wanting to give her false hope that anything will come of the night. I should do the same now.
Instead, I lie there, watching her, spending these precious last few minutes memorizing her arched brows, her black-as-night hair. The curve of her cheek, the gentle jut of her chin. And down lower, to the gorgeous tits I’d trade my fortune to see again.
I want to cancel my flight and make love to her all day, but she deserves a boyfriend who can give her the regular, peaceful life she wants. Who can take her to the movies without having to sign autographs in line for popcorn, go out for dinner without drawing a crowd, walk down the street hand in hand without being chased by the paparazzi.
Just a few more minutes, and I’ll say goodbye in real life. Hopefully, she’ll once again allow me back into her life as her long-distance friend Remington. Because the best thing I can do for her is to not get too close. And I care about her enough to do just that.
CHAPTER 20
Olivia
I was right.
Chase James is a bitch to get over.
It’s been two weeks since our magical weekend, and every moment is on repeat in my head, including our final goodbye when he left me to go back to his celebrity life.
But this can’t be real heartbreak. We haven’t known each other long enough.
The cynical side of me knows I was just another night in a long line of hookups as he jetted away.
At least I hadn’t gone into whatever we were with stars in my eyes and hope in my heart that I was somehow special. I’m not Cinderella. He’s not my Hollywood Prince Charming. He’s the star. I’m the ordinary girl.
I only wish I had someone to process this all with, to break it down. But I can’t exactly share my maybe kinda sorta heartbreak with Daisy. Chase is her brother. That would be weird.