I glared at Bella. “Dick reports? Really, Bella? We hadn’t done that since we were in our twenties. I’m forty. I don’t care about dick reports.”
“Yes, girl! Dick reports! At our age, that’s even more critical. You have to wonder why a man that rich, accomplished, and fine is over forty, single, and not an ex-wife or baby mother in sight. Besides, you never know what girls we know that may have been with him! As soon as I learned who he was, you know I asked around. And the HU gossip networks were surprisingly dry. Seems like despite being a frat boy, Porter didn’t get around like that. Maybe he’s the real deal, Ari.”
I rolled my eyes. “Bella, I don’t care about, nor do I want to hear about his so-called dick reports. My report is the only one that matters.”
“Okay so, give me your report, heifer! Is he big? Is he small? Does he have any special skills? He’s a little on the light side, so… Is it all the same color? What?” Bella was squirming in her seat like an eager teenager at a slumber party.
My eyes nearly bulged out of my head in shock. “Is it all the same color? Jesus, Bella, have you no shame! All I’m going to say is, I feel like it was perfectly crafted for me.” I put my hand over my chest, thinking about last night and early this morning. And meeting up later that afternoon.
Bella raised a brow. “And by it you mean his dick, right?”
“YES! BELLA! HIS DICK!” I said, loudly. This time it was Sasha who yelled, “Oh, Auntie Ari said a bad word! Is dick a bad word, Daddy?”
Zach rolled his eyes as he yelled in our direction. “I swear to God I’m going to have to ban the two of you from being within earshot of the girls! Save that talk for brunch and mimosas or whatever the hell!”
Malia wagged her tiny finger at Zach. “Daddy! You said a bad word! A dollar for the swear jar!”
Zach shook his head and placed a frustrated hand on his forehead. We were going to give the man a stroke.
Trying not to laugh, I yelled across the playground. “I’m sorry, Zach. Bella just doesn’t understand context clues.”
“I understand context clues just fine,” said Bella through tight veneers. “What I want to know is how you ended up in his bed in the first place?”
“My bed. We were in my bed. We had gone out to meet the clients of our project and $800 wine was flowing. We got a little handsy on the ride back to my place. One thing led to another. And when I woke up…”
“Wait…he spent the night? Because you never let dudes spend the night!”
Groaning, I shook my head. “I’m breaking all my cardinal rules, but yes, he spent the night. We were late for work the next day because we had to get one more round in. Make that two more rounds in. Again, it is just sex. Just us getting our frustrations out. You know we’ve been working nonstop on this soccer stadium design. It’s stressful as hell.”
Bella fanned herself. “Jesus. I can’t remember the last time I had twenty-four hours of sex without some little person interrupting us with ‘Mama, I need this!’ or ‘Daddy, I need that!’ or ‘Sasha hit me with a sippy cup!’”
I smiled and looked at the girls. “Yeah, but those two are too precious! It’s all worth it in the end, right?” I’d thought about having kids a time or two, and Bella’s relationship with the twins made it look so fun and easy. They were the sweetest and kindest kids. I wondered if Porter wanted kids. I swiftly popped that thought like a soap bubble.
“Yeah, they’re the best, but Mama needs to get some too!” complained Bella with an uneasy chuckle. “I can’t remember the last time Zach went down on me. I had to sneak and give him some head in the butler’s pantry while they napped. Two licks and it was over because I heard tapping at the door. I’m telling you, those two are some cock-blockers!”
I patted her knee. “Oh, girl. You will get you some real soon.”
“Hmpf. I don’t know when. Time isn’t on our side.”
“Plus, you’re getting the event planning business off the ground. Zach is in the middle of his plastic surgery residency. The girls are a lot, and you have tons of responsibilities. Trust me. Things will get better.”
Bella smiled and put her head on my shoulder. “You always know what to say, Ari. How’d I get so lucky to have a best friend like you?”
I laughed. “Because we were two lost and anxious freshmen at college and clung to each other like mold on cheese.”