Ari closed her eyes, inhaling deeply before removing my hand. “No, Porter. You did nothing. Not that I’m aware of.”
“What does this mean?”
“Nothing.”
“Are you sure? Because it doesn’t feel like it.” I pushed up the sleeves of my henley and leaned against the island, watching, and waiting for Ari to respond. Silence filled the space between us. Ari was never one to mince words. Her unusual quietness was unnerving and made the hairs on my neck stand up.
This wasn’t a good sign.
Ari removed her glasses, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Porter, I… What are we doing?”
I laughed. “Uh, until a few minutes ago we were about to eat tacos and then I was going to convince you to take a break and join me on the couch for a Property Brothers marathon. You know I love when you try to guess which twin is which. You’re never right, by the way.”
Ari didn’t laugh. She didn’t even crack a smile. Damn, even my corny jokes weren’t landing. My heart sunk a little lower. Ari turned toward me on the barstool. “No, Porter, I mean, what are we doing?”
I scratched my beard and let out an exasperated sigh. “Ari, not this again.”
“Really? You’re going to tell the partners we’re together? Is that wise?”
I leaned back. “Ari, we talked about this. After we finish the stadium, when they name partner, I’ll disclose our relationship. After your situation in Chicago, I thought maybe it’ll make things easier. For both of us.”
Ari scoffed. “Yeah right.”
“Ari, I said that I would. When have I ever lied to you? Broken a promise to you? I don’t want this to be a secret. Is this why you’re mad? Because I haven’t told the partners about us?”
“No. But it’s probably not going to be a good look when they find out that you were dating me.”
“Ari, I’m sure they wouldn’t care.”
Ari rolled her eyes. “Then you don’t know them.”
I folded my arms. “What’s that supposed to mean? I’ve worked there for fifteen years, Ari. Clearly, I know the type of men they are. Riddle and Robinson are good men. Progressive guys. Trust me, they wouldn’t care.”
Ari laughed. “Porter, you’re so na?ve.”
“Naive? Ari, where the fuck is any of this coming from? It seems out of left field right now. What do you have against Riddle or Robinson? I mean, they hired you, right?”
Ari chewed her bottom lip. “Did you ever stop to think about why they hired me? Seriously? Especially after everything I’d gone through at Leland. You said yourself you all hadn’t been successful in retaining female talent. Why hire such a risk?”
My head throbbed. “Because you’re a fucking amazing architect. Your talent speaks for itself. They were singing your praises, Ari.”
Ari smirked, her smile bitterly cold. “Really? And what was your talent like before I got there? Seems like they weren’t totally singing your praises at all.”
Heat pricked at my neck, anger bubbling at the surface of my skin. “What are you insinuating? That I was shit before you got here? I mean, I’ll admit, I’d had some misses. But I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am. I’m a damn good designer.”
“Good, but not the best.”
“Ari, that’s fucking hurtful.”
“Hurtful, but the truth,” Ari interrupted. “Then along comes Ari, to prop you up and make you save face. Shine you up. Over seventy percent of the ideas for this new stadium are mine, but your name is going to be all over this.”
Confusion clouded my brain. “Is this a credit thing? Do you want credit? Fine, you can have it! If you want top billing on this, cool. If that’s going to make you happy. Is that what you want?”
“Yes…no… Ugh. It doesn’t matter what I want!” Ari threw her hands up.
I paced across the kitchen floor. “It matters to me! What matters to me isn’t the ultimate design or recognition. Not anymore. What matters to me is you, Ari!”
“No! Just stop it!” yelled Ari. She slammed her laptop case and yanked the adapter out of the outlet. I reached out for her hand, and she pulled back.
“Ari? What the hell! Why are you so mad? What did I do? All this anger. I don’t understand… I don’t.”
Ari’s lip quivered, tears glossing over her coffee-dark eyes. “Of course, you don’t. You don’t get it. I don’t think you ever did.”