“Loneliness? Really?” I asked.
“Living for eternity, doomed to watch everyone around you die or give up—what else would you call it?
“But you have other vampires,” I pointed out.
“I was referring to the vampires.” Connor seemed overly absorbed as he stared down at my hand that he had pressed to his chest. “Humans die in the blink of an eye—they’re closer to the lifespan of a fish than a dog for us.”
“Okay, but my point still stands—you have other vampires.”
“Who typically don’t make it past a few centuries,” Connor said. “And those who don’t croak are often taken over by the cynical fatigue with life and enter an endless sleep. They may as well be dead. For a longer-lived vampire, there aren’t many who stay.”
I studied Connor’s face, looking for signs of what he was feeling. He was rarely serious, but this seemed like a moment when I was getting a true glimpse of him.
“Long lived vampires are doomed to a painful, lonely future. It’s inevitable,” he concluded.
I studied Connor’s face, my heart squeezing. “Is that what you’ve been feeling? Lonely?”
Connor flicked his eyes in my direction. A heartbeat passed and he grinned, his eyes glowing with humor. “No. I’m too young for such tripe. Why else would I risk spending time with you?” He winked, then finally pulled my hand off his chest.
There was something about the wording that caught my attention, despite his carefree attitude. If you’re so young that you don’t care… why would you call it a risk?
Connor started to raise my hand to his lips. I knew he wouldn’t bite me but with my blood being the strongest poison to vampires on earth, I wasn’t going to leave room for any mistake.
I twisted my hand in his grasp so I could squeeze his fingers, then pulled my hand free before his lips could brush me.
“Thanks, Connor.” I smiled, hoping it would show how much I appreciated him even if I wouldn’t let his lips touch me jokingly.
“But of course.” Conner stretched, then picked up his half drunken blood pack. “I refuse to eat this subpar offering,” he grumbled before tossing it in the trash.
My conscience prickled as I watched him—Connor never knew just how close he was to death whenever he got close to me.
I’ve only known him for a little over a month, so it’s too early to tell him about my job yet. But next year, I could risk it after a few more months of knowing him.
I wasn’t stupid. I spent the most time with Connor, but he was still something of a mystery. Besides, my background wasn’t only my secret to share, but my family’s as well.
“Right. I’ll take another sip of water, then start my sprints.” I squatted down and picked up my bottle. The metal squeaked as I unscrewed the lid.
“Yeah, yeah. Your run must continue.” Connor yawned—flashing his pronounced canine teeth. “Why do you have to train for so long?”
I took a sip of water, then screwed the lid back on. “It’s important to have a strong foundation for physical health,” I said. “Which includes running, flexibility, reflexes—”
“Wow—okay. You’re making me tired just listening to you.”
“You’ve forgotten how bad it is because you have vampire agility and senses to count on.” I paused. I’d asked before and he was cagey, but he didn’t shut me down, so I think I can risk being more blunt… “How old are you, anyway?”
“Old enough that if I tell you, you’ll probably stop hanging out with me.” Connor sighed mournfully. “You’ll think I’m no longer cool and fashionable, and that my handsome, gorgeous, amazing face is just an empty shell.”
I set my water bottle down, then stood up. “I’d never think that.”
“Thank you.”
“I mean, yes, you’re handsome, but I don’t know that you rank up there with gorgeous and amazing.” I couldn’t help but smile, waiting for his reaction to my ribbing.
Connor laughed—a low, warm sound that curled around me like a blanket. He purposely jostled his shoulder into mine, then he paused—his expression frozen—before he abruptly pivoted so he could gape down at me, his dark red eyes slightly widened.
My grin dimmed as I realized his surprise wasn’t dramatized or faked for the fun of it. He was genuinely surprised. Or maybe surprised wasn’t the right word as much as baffled—which was odd, because what did he have to be baffled about over a joke?