“Well, I did,” I say. I take the cup from his hand and place it on the table.
“Maybe we can hang out sometime. Like, after school or something.”
“I’d like that.”
“Do you drink … coffee?”
“No, but I’m teaching myself to,” I say.
“I’m really glad you came tonight.”
“You just said that.”
Sam smiles at me and shuts his eyes.
Suddenly the music cuts off. Someone flickers the lights on and off. A voice shouts down from the top of the stairs.
“Dudes—cops are outside! Back door—everybody!”
“Sam, wake up, we have to go—”
“Huh—” He yawns as I wrap his arm around my neck and lift him up from the couch. A stampede of bodies races toward the backyard as I limp and stumble, trying to follow them out. Eventually, I make it through the door and emerge into complete darkness as the weight of Sam vanishes from around my shoulders. The scene changes again, and I find myself somewhere else.
A breeze blows against my skin, and when I look up through the dark, I see I’ve made it outside. I blink and a baseball diamond emerges through the moonlight. A telescope stands in the middle, angled toward the sky. Leaning down beside it is Sam, who is trying to adjust something.
“This isn’t going to work,” he says.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
He looks up at me, his eyes flashing with disappointment. “It’s too cloudy out. You can’t see anything. I thought this would work. I wanted to surprise you,” he says.
I squint at the sky. “Surprise me with what? Stars?”
“No. I wanted to show you Saturn’s rings. For that story you’re writing in class. You said you wished you could see it so you could describe it better.” He leans down, checking the lens of the telescope again. “Dang it.”
“I can’t believe you went out of your way to do this.”
“I emailed the astronomy department at the university and everything,” he tells me. “And they’re only letting me borrow the telescope for tonight.”
“Sam…” I whisper, and touch his back. He looks up from the lens. He and I have never kissed before. I’ll never forget his look of surprise when I pulled his face up slowly with my hands and pressed my lips to his, and we felt a slight shock of static from the metal of the telescope.
“Thank you for this,” I whisper.
“But you didn’t even get to see it.”
“I’m good with my imagination.”
We both smile. Sam puts his hands around me, and pulls me in for a longer second kiss beneath the cloudy night sky and bars of moonlight breaking through it.
I remember he said later, “I’ll show you them another time. I promise.”
He never kept that promise.
CHAPTER FOUR
NOW
The bell echoes down the empty hallway as I arrive late to school. I missed the bus this morning. Now I have to make an entrance to a class that’s already started, and draw more attention to myself. I consider skipping first period to avoid this altogether. But I’ve been absent for an entire week of school now, and I’m already here. I might as well get this over with, since I’ll have to face everyone sooner or later. At least I remembered to set my alarm yesterday. But I never planned to wake up in Sam’s bed and have to rush home.
Sam.
I’m still trying to wrap my head around last night. The phone call in the woods. Hearing his voice again. It was all real, wasn’t it? How else would I have ended up in his room? Only seven hours of this place, I remind myself. Then I can call him again. It’s all I can think about. It’s what’s keeping me together as I brace myself for the rest of the school day without him here.
I take a deep breath before I step through the door to first period. All heads turn slowly toward me as the room silences. Mr. White pauses his chalk on the board, and opens his bearded mouth as if he’s about to say something. But he looks away and continues his lecture, allowing me to go find my seat. As I slip between desks, no one makes eye contact with me. When I see the empty table by the window with two chairs, my heart stops. It’s where Sam and I usually sat together. But I don’t stall for too long because I sense people staring. I take another breath before I walk over and set my things down. I don’t look at anyone. I just stare at the front of the room and watch the minutes tick, tick away on the clock.
After class, everyone ignores me. No one asks how I’m doing or looks my way. I don’t know what I was expecting coming back. It’s hard not to let it bother me. Maybe they all noticed I wasn’t at the funeral. Maybe they think I’m some cold, heartless person who feels nothing after her boyfriend died. The rest of the day goes like this. Hallways grow silent as I walk through them, and whispers follow. But I keep my chin straight and pretend I don’t hear anything. I suddenly remember the photo Taylor took of me and wonder who she sent it to. Probably their senior group, everyone at the bonfire that night. I’m sure it made them feel better, seeing me like that. Thankfully I don’t have any classes with her or Liam. I’ve been trying hard to avoid those two all day. I even took the other stairs to avoid passing by their lockers.