“My group has two lacrosse players…” he says, ripping a sandwich in half. “So no.”
“It could be worse.”
“How?”
“Three lacrosse players.”
We laugh as Jay hands me half the sandwich. A second later, Oliver shows up. He places his tray on the table, and squeezes a chair right next to me, forcing Jay to move over.
“Love the earth shirt, Jay,” Oliver says, stealing one of his fries.
Jay is wearing one of the shirts he designed for his environmental club, the one of a sick globe with a thermometer sticking out of its mouth. “Thanks. I made it myself.”
“And how come I never got one?”
“Well, if you actually came to our meetings, you would have.”
“I came to the first one,” Oliver reminds him, then whispers to the rest of us, “and it was a long one.”
Jay gives him a look. “You know I can hear you.”
“What—we didn’t say anything,” Oliver says, then winks at me and the others.
“Enough, guys—” Rachel interrupts them, and rises from her chair. “There’s a club emergency. The form is due tomorrow, and we still need five more signatures.”
“Can’t you just, you know, make them up?” Oliver suggests.
Rachel’s eyes widen with hope. “Will that work?” she whispers.
“No,” I say.
We all glance at each other, trying to think of ideas that won’t get us into trouble.
“Do you really need a school club to host a movie?” Yuki asks. “We can always get together informally.”
“No, but if we get approval, the school gives us a hundred-dollar budget for snacks,” Rachel explains.
Oliver smacks the table. “Then we need these signatures!” he says, and everyone laughs.
“Since you’re popular, Oliver, do you think you can help us?” Rachel asks, handing him the form again.
“On the condition I get final say on what we eat.”
“Deal.”
Oliver holds up his hand. They high-five each other.
“Hey, it’s Mika—” Jay points behind me.
I look up and see her walking this way. She hasn’t made an appearance at lunch in a while. “Mika!” I call her name but she hurries pasts us without looking at me, and disappears through hallway doors.
Yuki frowns. “Is she okay?”
“She doesn’t look too good,” Oliver notes. He turns to me. “Have you spoken to her lately?”
“I’ve tried to … But she keeps avoiding me.”
“Is she mad at you?”
“I guess so.” I look down at my tray, feeling guilty for letting things get this way. “I missed the vigil after I promised her I’d go. I missed a lot of things. So she doesn’t think much of me right now.”
“I ran into her in the restroom yesterday,” Rachel says. “She was crying.”
Oliver leans back in his chair. “That’s rough. I wish there was something we could do.”
“Me, too,” I say.
The table goes quiet for a while. No one really touches their food. Especially me. I can’t seem to eat at all. How can I after promising Sam I’d make sure Mika’s okay? I could have reached out to her more. It’s like I’m failing him. Failing the three of us. After all, it’s my fault she isn’t talking to me. I wish I could just tell her about Sam. Maybe it would fix everything, and we would understand each other again.
After a long silence, Rachel looks up at us. “I have an idea. We should invite her to release the lanterns with us. It might help her, too.”
I look at her. “Lanterns?”
“It’s the idea we came up with,” Yuki says, nodding. “To honor Sam, we’re going to release lanterns for him. They’re called memory lanterns. It lets you whisper something to a person you lost, and the lantern will carry the message to them in the sky.”
“Like little hot-air balloons,” Rachel explains. She uses her hands to cup something invisible. “You put a candle inside and watch them float away.” She raises her hands, as if releasing something.
“It’s a long tradition across different many cultures,” Yuki goes on. “People have been doing it for thousands of years. All over the world, for many kinds of ceremonies. It brings peace and good luck.”
The image of lanterns skimming the air floats across my mind. “It sounds beautiful…” I say.