“You won’t fit on the floor.” There’s barely enough space for the two of us standing.
His lip twitches. “I don’t plan to lie down.” He settles against the wall, knees up, elbows atop them. Tilted just slightly toward the door. “You should sleep, Lark.”
If he thinks I’ll just fall asleep with him sitting there, he’s mistaken. But then I realize the anxiety has fled me entirely. I am utterly calm, save for other nerves. And I am dreadfully tired.
Taking the thicker of my blankets, I unfurl it over him.
“Lark,” he says.
But I let the fur settle over him, as he’d done for me when I was shivering in the hallway. I even tuck it behind his shoulders. In doing so, my face gets very close to his. I meet his eyes. A sort of smoky warmth flickers in them. And I can smell him—white cedarwood and ginger.
I pull away. “Thank you.”
He nods, still watching me.
I turn down the lamp, not wanting to waste fuel, though truly I want the darkness to hide my flush, my expression, for I fear it reveals more than I want it to. I lay on my cot, guilty knowing that Azmar will lose sleep over me, and curl into the other blanket. Despite my weariness, sleep feels a long way off.
After a while, Azmar murmurs, “Lark.”
I roll over to face him, though in the impenetrable darkness, I can’t even make out his silhouette. “Hmm?”
He waits so long that I think he won’t speak after all, but finally he asks, “Why did you come here?”
He asked me before, on the bridge. He hasn’t forgotten. But now he wants to know more. And how can I deny him, after all he’s done for me?
Biting my lip, I mull over my life, my reasons, my secrets. I try to line them up in a row, inspect them one by one.
Azmar shifts against the stone.
“I’m the oldest of four,” I begin, “though my brothers and sisters are half siblings. My mother—my father’s wife—never wanted me. In truth, I don’t know why my father did, at first. He’s a terrible person. The worst I’ve ever known. Even when he doesn’t notice you, he is terrible. But it’s worse when he does. He . . . knew there was something special about me. Figured out what it was and decided I’d be useful to him.
“Grodd fights with his fists, with his strength. My father fights with his mind. That is, he used his fists as well.” I shift to stare at the faint indigo glow at the window. “But he was clever. He liked power. He knew how to manipulate people around him, whether to bargain an unfair trade or to intimidate someone into giving him what he wanted. He made me help him.
“I’m from a township called Lucarpo, near the last river. My father was mayor of the place when I left. Mayor in name, lord in action.” Though human lords had died out with Eterellis. “He got it through fear. Through owning more land than anyone else. Through intimidation. He was creating a nation unto himself, and I was meant to be part of it, whether I wanted it or not. And I didn’t. I met a woman . . . a woman who didn’t know me, but she believed in me when no one else did. She gave me the courage to seek a better life. So I left. I did what my mother couldn’t. I was twelve years old. I went as far as I could on what I’d stolen from the house. Then I found a township and a family who would take me in. But . . .”
Secrets dance around my teeth and tickle my tongue.
Very quietly, I repeat, “But . . .”
But I am more like my father than I want to believe. I wield fear, just as he does.
“But they inevitably learned that I was different, just like Grodd did. And I had to leave. There aren’t many human townships to take shelter in. So I took my chances with Cagmar.”
Silence weighs down the room. I wonder if my tale put Azmar to sleep. But I hear him shift, his heels sliding against the floor as he stretches out.
“You could have spun that into a much different answer,” he says quietly.
“I could have. But I meant what I said, Azmar. I trust you.” Though I still hold back my deepest secret, I have told him more than I’ve told anyone.
“Why?”
“Why do I trust you?” I whisper. “Because you are sincere and noble. Why did I tell you my story?” I think of his words on the bridge. “Because you asked.”
He doesn’t respond, but I think I feel his small smile cut through the darkness.
I tuck my head down and focus on my breathing, feeling safe with Azmar between me and the door. My thoughts feel lighter, my chest warm, and sleep soon encompasses me.