“Stop crying!” she yelled. “You’re driving me crazy.”
“I don’t know how to help you, Suze. I might be lucky, but I also didn’t sleep with some guy and get pregnant.”
“There it is, the truth,” she said with bitterness. Her chin rose. “You can go now. Back to your pretty little life.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were having sex?” I asked. “I’m your best friend. I would have told you.”
“Oh, like when you lied about kissing Joel that time? Another time my dad was being an asshole?”
“That was years ago! I didn’t even know you cared!”
“I didn’t. But you didn’t tell me the truth.”
It wasn’t an answer, but I’d had enough. “Fine.” I grabbed my sweater and stormed out, my heart pounding all the way down the stairs. My dad was waiting, and didn’t say a word when I slammed the door.
I didn’t go back. I didn’t speak to her again until she moved in with Amma and I was forced into proximity with her.
CURRENT DAY
Chapter Twenty-One
Phoebe
I’m fuming mad, crashing dishes around as I make lunch. I don’t know who I’m angrier with—me or Suze. How could she have lied to me for so long? So long?
And why? It doesn’t make sense. Why hide it? It makes me feel like our entire friendship is a lie.
Jasmine is upstairs playing Roblox on her iPad, time she earned by doing a bunch of chores in the house. I’m making tuna salad for lunch for me, grilled cheese for her. A knock sounds at the door, and I jump three feet before I realize it’s Ben. I wave him in, so relieved.
“Hi,” I say.
“You okay?”
I don’t know if he means right now or last night, when I was so weird, but I answer for both. “I’m good. Just a lot going on.”
He clears his throat and bends his head toward his phone. “Have you seen the news this morning?”
My body stiffens in fear. “What?”
He hands me the phone. On the screen is a news story.
JUNO GERHERT GUNNED DOWN
LNB claims responsibility
San Francisco—Singer Juno Gerhert, currently on tour with her fourth platinum hit, was shot dead outside a concert hall in San Francisco last night. She was 28 years old.
The domestic terrorist group the Leviathan Nationalist Brotherhood has claimed responsibility, their fourth such attack in eighteen months, all on women—Nadine Truelove, the freshman senator for California; Andrea Montague, a gay activist in Denver; Suze Ogden, an outspoken actress who compared the LNB to the Taliban; and now Gerhert, who had been demanding action against the LNB for over a year after they stalked her after she released records on the leader of the group, Jacob Cosgrove, showing ties to white-supremacist groups. Of the four, only Ogden survived.
My blood literally turns cold, slowing to sludge in my body. A roaring fills my ears, and for a moment I don’t click on the rest of the story, trying to get my mind to capture what this means.
“Damn,” I whisper. I hand back the phone.
“I thought you’d want to know.”
Only Ogden survived. I think of the bloody squirrel on her porch. The guy at the restaurant. The WHORE painted on her house. “I’ll be back in a minute,” I say, and pick up my phone from the counter, carrying it upstairs to my bedroom, out of earshot. Right this minute, the past doesn’t matter. I dial Suze’s number.
“Hey,” I say when she answers. “Have you seen the news about the LNB?”
“No.” The word sounds hollow. “What happened?”
“They killed Juno Gerhert.”
She makes a soughing noise and I imagine her sinking into a chair. “When?”
“Last night. Gunned her down outside a concert venue.”
“Shit. That’s bold.”
“Yeah. Suze, do you want to come down here? I’m worried about you.”
“Maybe later,” she says. “I’m doing some writing, and Joel will be back to install a Ring camera in a little while. I’ve got Maui until then.”
Joel. This is not the moment to reveal I know that she’s been lying, and my feelings are so complex that I wouldn’t even know where to begin. “You’re the only one they didn’t kill,” I say, and it makes my chest hurt, like I’m going to have a heart attack any second. “That scares me to death.”
She’s silent for a long moment. “I know. Me too. But I need to do what I’m doing right now. I’ll come down after Joel leaves.”