Nero. Dead.
It still doesn’t feel real.
A prickling sensation appears behind my eyes. “I don’t know if it matters. Even if I still love him, I am the reason his best friend is dead.”
Vale comes over to sit down on the edge of the bed and wraps an arm around me. “Cleo, that is the world we live in. You know that.”
I lean my head against her shoulder. “It’s why I’ve always wanted to get away from all of this. The nonstop heartbreak and pain. And I’m almost there. I can do whatever I want now that I’m in Italy. Do I really want to give all that up for another chance with Rafaele?”
That’s the real choice I have to make. Say goodbye to him and start a new life in Europe or go back to the life I know in New York. The life I used to hate before I married him.
Vale sighs. “We don’t get to choose what life we’re born into, but we all have the ability to find our own path if we’re willing to pay the price. I had to be brave enough to escape Lazaro and leave New York. I didn’t leave our world, not completely, but I found a corner of it that works for me. Damiano is a don, but he’s also the love of my life.”
“But don’t you think it would be so much better if you and him were just normal people?”
”Do I sometimes wish I didn’t have to worry about whether he comes home alive after a trip away? Of course. But I also recognize that he wouldn’t be the man he is if he was removed from all of this.” She huffs and smiles. “And I really like who he is.”
Rafaele, no longer a don? It’s impossible to imagine. The man was born to lead. And the truth is…I admire that about him. He’s got men who rely on him and a family that thrives under his leadership. He would never leave that behind, and I could never ask him to do so.
So if I choose him, I have to embrace all of it. No more rebellion, no more resistance, no more denying the reality of my situation. I would have to be all in.
I press a kiss to Vale’s cheek. “I think I need to get some sleep. My head feels like it’s about to explode.”
She gives me another hug and gets up. “Take the time you need. I won’t let him rush you.”
The next day, my breakfast magically appears in my room before I even ask for it. Damn, Vale is well on her way to getting the sister of the year award. I eat my eggs and toast and drink my coffee while sitting by the window and watching birds make a nest in the tree in the backyard.
Around midday, I hear Rafaele’s voice outside my door.
“Can I talk to her?”
“She will come to you when she wants to,” Vale says firmly.
“Will you tell her I’d like to see her?”
“I will, Rafaele. Can you stop hovering by her door like a ghost and go downstairs? My staff don’t know what to do with you.”
I lift my hand to my lips. He’s been hovering outside my room? I tiptoe toward the door and press my ear against it. There’s the sound of retreating footsteps.
Vale did the right thing shooing him away, because I still don’t know what I want to do.
Do I miss him? Yes.
I miss his touch, and his kisses, and the way he looked at me like I was the most precious thing in the world. But will we ever get that back given everything that has happened?
I’m not sure.
When six p.m. rolls around, I start getting ready for the concert. My suitcase is still lying open on the floor. I never really unpacked when I arrived here. I dig through the clothes I brought and pull out a forest-green dress I haven’t worn yet. It’s low cut with a bow right below my chest, billowy long sleeves, and a flowy skirt that reaches my mid-thigh. I let my hair out of its braid and swipe on a bit of makeup.
When I’m finished, I walk up to the mirror and do a twirl. I’m a bit overdressed for a rock concert, but that’s just because I feel like it. It’s definitely not because I want to look good in case I bump into Rafaele downstairs.
He’s not there anyway. I walk into the empty living room and ignore the small twinge of disappointment.
Vale appears a short while later. “Ready?”
“Yes. Your husband isn’t here to send you off?”
“He and Rafaele are talking business in his office.”
Oh. I swallow and paste on a smile. “Let’s go then.”
We get into the car waiting outside for us and arrive at the venue accompanied by a driver and two guards. When we arrive, the opening act is already playing. We head up to the VIP area and grab a couple beers.
“This band’s great,” Vale says, her head bopping along to the music.