“Whatever. Can you tell me if Gem made it to Ras? I’ve been asking everybody, and no one’s been able to give me an answer.”
“She did.”
I close my eyes and let out a relieved breath. Thank fuck. “How?”
“Ras was in New York when the engagement was called off. She rang Vale and managed to find him quickly. She wanted to be here but…” He glances inside the church. “You know how it is.”
Don’t I ever. Will Rafaele let me see my sister again? I don’t imagine it will be anytime soon.
I drag my palm over the satin fabric of Gemma’s dress. The important thing is that she’s safe and her baby is safe. We’ll figure out the rest later.
The music inside the cathedral changes.
“I think that’s our cue,” Vince says.
I blink at him, my thoughts still on Gemma. Then it dawns on me what he means. It’s time for us to walk down the aisle. Suddenly, my lungs seize. This is it. My face plummets, and Vince pales.
“I know there’s no excuse for what I’ve done,” he says, his voice harsh. “I was… Fuck, I don’t know what I was thinking. There are things you don’t know about my life in Switzerland. I’ll explain it all to you one day if you’ll let me.”
The remorse in his eyes seems genuine, but I’m not like Gemma. I don’t forgive easily. Still, he’s my brother, and even though he’s an ass, I love him.
“Okay,” I croak. “We’ll talk later. Help me with the damn veil.”
The music gets louder, as if imploring us to move or else. A man appears behind us—one of Rafaele’s—and nods toward the entrance of the church. “Go.”
“Jesus, we’re going,” I snap.
Veil in place, I take Vince’s arm. We climb the dozen or so steps, moving slowly because of my dress. Someone lifts the train behind me, probably the same guy who rushed us along, but I don’t even bother looking to check.
My pulse is racing. I can’t believe I’m about to get married.
The massive doors to the cathedral are propped open. Inside are rows and rows of people I’ve never met with the occasional flash of a familiar face. My family is somewhere here, but I don’t seek them out.
The sheer volume of witnesses to my downfall is staggering. I keep my gaze focused on the ground and count my breaths.
The world is a blur, and I’m a tiny speck being propelled through it. Sweat collects at the small of my back, seeping into the fabric of Gemma’s wedding dress. My mouth is bone dry. I wish I’d asked for some water on the ride over instead of spending it silently pondering my bleak future as a married woman.
I clutch Vince’s arm tighter, and he shoots me a worried look. He can’t see my expression beneath the veil. If he could, he’d look far more worried.
My horror builds with every step I take. This is what I’ve always feared. The complete surrender of my autonomy to a stranger.
I’m living through my own personal nightmare, and there’s a demon waiting for me at the end of the aisle, ready to tear the thing I’ve always held most dear to me—my freedom—to shreds.
I might throw up.
Maybe it doesn’t have to be forever. I have to hold out hope that somehow I’ll convince Rafaele to eventually let me out of my cage. But how long will that take? Weeks? Months? Years? Years of living with the enemy.
Rafaele may have helped Gemma, but he’s still my enemy. He’s looking forward to owning me. I could see it in his eyes last night when he looked at me like I was another one of his possessions.
What will he do to me? Whatever he wants, I suppose. That’s the point, isn’t it? Starting with our wedding night. Whatever I don’t give to him willingly, he’ll take by force.
My breaths are coming quickly now. A pressure appears on my forearm. I look down to see it’s Vince’s hand.
“Cleo, you’re shaking,” he says in a low voice.
Yes, I’m about to have a panic attack, I want to say to him, but I can’t speak.
Dark spots appear in my eyes.
And that’s when I notice the flowers. Bouquets of blue lilies at the end of every aisle.
Gem’s favorites.
I was at the meeting with the wedding planner when she picked out that exact arrangement.
Something about the flowers cuts through the panic, and I manage to suck in a single deep breath. Then another.
Gem isn’t here, but there are glimpses of her everywhere in this cathedral. She planned this wedding. She chose the flowers, and the music, and this dress, and this veil, and all the other little details that used to be so insignificant to me.