I grunt. “So you’re saying it’s impossible.”
“I don’t think it’s impossible, but I think it’s hard. Most don’t bother trying. You know how it is, Rafe. Kids are pawns until they knock over the king and take his place.”
He’s right. The mob’s all about family, but somehow, we all end up screwing those around us. Thing is, I don’t want to have a fucked-up family with Cleo. But what’s the alternative? None of this fits into acceptable lines.
Nero clears his throat. “Why are we talking about this?”
“Cleo brought up kids.”
He laughs. “Fuck, you two are crazy. A few weeks ago, she hissed and bared her claws whenever you got too close to her, and now she wants to have babies with you?”
“It’s not like that. She just mentioned it offhand.”
He shrugs. “Then forget about it. That’s a problem for tomorrow, and tomorrow might never come.”
I grunt. Again, he’s right. I can’t worry about the future. I’ve got enough shit to deal with right now. But the uncomfortable feelings that came up from this discussion stay with me for the rest of the day.
CHAPTER 33
CLEO
Another month passes in the blink of an eye, during which Rafaele and I fall into a comfortable rhythm.
No, that’s a lie. A rhythm, yes. Comfortable? Maybe for him.
On paper, things are going well. He’s been around a little more this month. We’ve gone on dates, attended dinner parties, and even went to a gallery opening together. When we’re together, I never feel like I bore him. He’s a great listener, and whenever I have some problem at work, he gives me thoughtful advice. I enjoy his company, and I think he enjoys mine. But as soon as I try to pierce the armor he wears, to move beyond facts and logic, I hit resistance.
Every time he shuts down a conversation or pulls away, I have to remind myself not to be greedy.
The problem is…I am greedy. With each passing day, my feelings for him grow. They pulse inside my chest, a cocktail of longing, affection, and desire. And I want more from him. I want to know what Rafaele is thinking when he looks at me with those piercing blue eyes. I want to know what he’s feeling when he touches my skin, sending shivers down my spine. I want to know if he feels the same way I do, and whether he wants more too.
I’m falling for him, fast and hard, and I don’t know what’s waiting for me at the bottom of the drop.
It’s Sunday morning, and the house is quiet. I wander onto the back terrace and take a look at the garden. It takes me a moment to realize it’s in full bloom. I’m checking the calendar on my phone for the date when familiar footsteps sound behind me. Rafaele wraps his arms around my waist and presses a kiss to my shoulder.
“I can’t believe it’s July,” I say. “Do you know my birthday is in a week?”
“Of course, I do.” His voice is still raspy from sleep. “How would you like to celebrate?”
I turn in his arms and place my palms on his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat. “I want to celebrate with my sisters.”
It’s been too long. I miss Gem and Vale, and it’s gotten particularly bad over the past two weeks. We talk on the phone often, but it’s not the same. I need an in-person heart-to-heart. Desperately. Maybe my sisters will be able to give me some advice on how to navigate this marriage.
I know Rafaele can’t be thrilled about my request. As expected, when I lift my gaze to his, he’s wearing a pensive look. I can practically see the wheels inside his head turning. Gemma is the woman who walked out on him. There’s no way Ras will allow her to travel here alone, so Rafaele will have to play nice with the man who got his ex-fiancée pregnant while she was engaged to him.
And Damiano will insist on escorting Vale. I guess Damiano and Rafe are business partners, so that’s not too bad. But if I’m inviting all four of them, I’ll also have to invite Mari, Damiano’s sister, and her husband, Giorgio, who’s Damiano’s head of security.
That’s a lot of Casalesi mobsters to have in New York at one time. But it’s not like Rafe would let me go see my sisters in Italy on my own, and he’s too busy with work to take time off.
“I know it might get a bit messy,” I say. “But I haven’t seen Gemma since she left or Vale since the wedding. That was almost four months ago, and I miss the hell out of them. It would be the best gift ever. A big party with all of them around.”
He sighs. “And here I was thinking the thirty-carat diamond necklace I bought at auction last week would be enough.”