They passed the Wilde house on their way. FJ picked up a quartz rock, two inches thick. The cloudy white kind that only sparkles when broken. He threw with a strong running back’s arm. It ricocheted against the front door and landed back at his feet.
Everyone stayed still for a moment. Shocked.
“Don’t be stupid,” Rhea said at last. “It’s broad daylight.”
The front door opened. Pregnant Gertie stood inside the screen, Arlo beside her.
Rhea picked up that same rock. Wiped away the dirt and bitumen, and put it in her purse like an idea that needed warming to hatch.
* * *
The Wildes watched the last car leave for Shelly’s memorial service. Excluded, again. And now somehow blamed. “Let’s do it here,” Arlo said, thinking of the life his pop had lived, and all the funerals they’d had for his street friends. Not the church kind or the coffin kind—the junkie kind. “Everybody get something important—something that means what you feel about Shelly. Bring it back to me.”
Nobody moved.
“Just get something that reminds you of her, that you wouldn’t mind parting from.”
First Larry left for the stairs, then Julia. Gertie stayed. He acted braver than he felt and kissed her hard; slapped her ass. A firm and just-the-right-side-of-sexy tap. “Git! Git yer special thing!”
They reconvened back in the hall. “Okay,” Arlo said as he opened his Montecristo cigar box. It smelled sweet. “I’ll go first.” He placed his Hohner 64 in the box. He was sorry to part with it—it had been a gift from Danny Lasson back when the band had been solid. But it was also the harmonica he’d always lent to Shelly on sleepovers. The last song he, Julia, and Shelly had worked on had been “Werewolves of London.”
Next went Larry.
“Are you sure?” Gertie asked. “You won’t get it back.”
Larry nodded. “She was bad sometimes but she shouldn’t be alone…” He dropped his Robot Boy, which he’d washed with Trader Joe’s shampoo, into the box.
Gertie followed. She unclasped her pearl pendant. Her stepmother, Cheerie （Call me Cherry, honey!）， had kept all her crowns and trophies, so except for her wedding ring, it was the only piece of real jewelry she owned. She’d planned to give it to Julia one day. “You don’t think it’s wasteful?” she asked Arlo as she held it over the box.
“No,” he answered.
Gertie clutched the pearl tight. One last squeeze. Then she let go. After so many years of working to acquire the pieces of their life that surrounded them, it felt good to surrender a thing.
Everybody looked down. These items were such pretty offerings, their intent so personal and specific, that they were no longer sorry to miss Shelly’s service. She’d slept over at their house scores of times. They’d only known her via this crescent, and for them, this was the better place to honor her.
At last, they turned to Julia, whose hands were empty. The right was still tender, blue stitches half dissolved. A dog, the emergency room doctor had told them, without any doubt.
“I don’t have anything important,” Julia said. “I wish it was me in that sinkhole.”
“I don’t,” Larry said.
Julia’s face crumbled. “It’s my fault. I could’ve saved her!”
“You couldn’t,” Gertie said.
“I could!”
Arlo smiled bittersweet—impressed by the depth of his daughter’s empathy, sorry she’d had to plumb it this way. “It was an accident.”
“You don’t understand! She wanted to live with us. She begged me!”
“Oh, Julia,” Gertie said. “Why would she want that?”
“She wasn’t happy.”
“Well, her mom wouldn’t have gone along with that.”
“How do you know?”
“Sweetie. I know she’s been acting out, but Rhea’s a good mom. All those kids are college bound.”
“She’s sneaky mean.”
“Lots of people are mean,” Arlo said.
Julia was still crying. “God meant to get me, but he got her by accident. He was trying to punish me for being a bad friend.”
“That makes no sense,” Gertie said.
“It’s true.”
“It’s not,” Arlo said. “It’s a story you’re telling yourself.”
Julia looked at them all, and took it in. Understood that she’d spoken this fear with the hope of being contradicted. No, it wasn’t her fault Shelly had died. This was not God’s wrath. Still, she felt responsible.