Mike could no longer pinpoint when things had started to go wrong in their marriage. It happened when he wasn’t looking, making deals somewhere, taking one of his companies public and on the road for the IPO, or rounding up investors. There had been years when he’d hardly been home. He readily admitted it now. He’d been building a future for them. Maureen wasn’t wrong about his being away too much, and somewhere along the way, she had become bitter and had given up. She resented him with every fiber of her being now. It came through her pores like venom.
It had all been so promising when they started out. She was from San Francisco, the daughter of a major venture capitalist, so a busy, ambitious father was familiar to her. She was the junior assistant to a junior editor at a fashion magazine in New York, young and beautiful, and he was in business school at Columbia. She’d gone to college at NYU for two years and decided to stay and play. Mike was dazzling when she met him, and her father had approved of the match as soon as he spoke to him, when Maureen brought Mike home for a weekend in San Francisco. He liked Mike’s drive and energy and ambition, and thought he’d be a great husband. He was a serious, hardworking young man with impressive goals. Maureen had loved Mike’s good looks and ignored the rest. He hadn’t hidden his career plans from her. She just didn’t listen, pay attention, or believe him. He had become exactly what he said he would, a big financial success like his own father, and hers. And then she came to resent him and hate him for it because he worked hard and was always busy. He loved their children but spent too little time with them. He saw that now and regretted it. She wouldn’t forgive him. She was relentless in her listing of his failures and remembered them all. It was hard to live with, being constantly reminded of the countless times he had disappointed her. When she met him, she could tell in the first five minutes that Mike Weston was going places and would go far. It was in his style and in his pores. He never hid how ambitious he was, or the dreams he intended to pursue. Her father, Allan Stanton, knew immediately that if Maureen married him, his daughter would be in good hands. And he wasn’t wrong. Mike was responsible and as passionate about her, and as attentive, as he was about starting his career. And then somehow, when he finished business school, his career took over. He was young and handsome and exciting. She was fun and easy to be with, much brighter than her job required. She didn’t have any great interests or ambitions, and had grown up protected and materially spoiled by her parents. She wasn’t after money. She had her own in trust from her grandparents, and was used to the finer things in life.
Mike thought she was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen when he met her. Now, twenty years later, at forty-two, she was still beautiful, but the light had gone out in her eyes. Mike was just as handsome and exciting at forty-four as he had been twenty years before, success had only enhanced him. But he looked at her differently now. They both knew it, but neither of them had noticed when the fire had gone out, while she was complaining.
Maureen had inherited a vast fortune when her father died five years into their marriage. She had never had another job after she and Mike were married. She never got involved in any major projects or philanthropic causes. She had concentrated on their two children, and was a devoted mother, but both children were gone now. And she had no reason to get a job. She didn’t need or want one. She was waiting for Zack to come home from Europe.
Mike had moved into the guest room as soon as Zack left, and moved back to his and Maureen’s bedroom when the kids came home for the holidays. Sleeping in separate rooms was just easier and gave Mike and Maureen both space from each other, which was a relief. He planned to move back in again when the kids came home. But in the meantime, it gave him and Maureen room to breathe. She sucked the air out of him with her constant reproaches and recriminations.
She liked to read late at night, and he was an early riser. But once the kids were gone, he realized that they were strangers living under one roof. She never failed to remind him that he had sacrificed her and their children for his career. He was never going to be able to make up for it, and it was easier not having to listen to it every night.
He stayed late at the office most nights. They went to social events together occasionally to keep up appearances publicly, but less and less frequently. Being together was painful. Maureen was used to telling people he was out of town on business or working late. No one was surprised to see her alone, and she didn’t seem to mind it. People sometimes wondered if they were still together, but no one dared ask. Mike told himself they had stayed together for the children. But he wondered if it was true. Jennifer and Zack weren’t babies anymore. They would have adjusted if their parents divorced. But Mike and Maureen were used to each other. They knew who they were dealing with and where the bodies were buried. It seemed infinitely simpler to stay together than to cause a major upheaval and start a new life. Mike never thought about leaving her, and contented himself with what they had. She was a good mother to their children, and they had intelligent conversations when she wasn’t angry at him. She was a bright woman even though she had done nothing with her intelligence. He wondered if things would have been different if she had. Unwinding twenty years now would be difficult, and there was never a good time to do it. So, he stayed late at the office, and she was still asleep when he left for work. After sleeping in the guest room, as he had for months, he hardly felt married to her. That had been a big change, but she never even commented on it. Having separate bedrooms suited her too, although they never admitted it to each other.