“I’m sure you’re trying, Ms. Brooke. We just need to get better results. We’ll see what the evaluation says about how Ben is doing.” And then what? They fire her as a mother? What more could one do when one’s best was not enough? How did one ever give children all they needed, when life pulled you in a thousand directions all at once?
Spencer’s mother helped to reinforce Spencer’s sense of inadequacy. She pointed to everything she thought Spencer was doing wrong, and never to her successes. She thought that Spencer’s Free Love program was a ridiculous waste of time, money, and energy, and she couldn’t understand why Spencer would do it, since compassion for others and generosity to the less fortunate were not on her radar.
The only thing that cheered Spencer and reassured her that she was on the right path was working one-on-one with the homeless on the nights she did. It touched her deeply every time and added a profound joy, peace, and satisfaction to her life. And she was encouraged when they got Ben’s test results. He had a slight delay in reading ability but the educational psychologist found him to be happy and well-adjusted, so maybe Spencer was doing better than she feared, despite the school counselor’s initial critical appraisal. She had just assumed that Spencer was neglecting her kids, which wasn’t true.
Paul Trask walked into Spencer’s office and sat down on the same day the school counselor had called her, which he didn’t know. But Spencer was already feeling low after the initial call. He reminded her of how much the renovation after the fire had cost them out of pocket, above what was paid by the insurance, what several leaks had cost them for their deductible, and in lost merchandise, how still not having a strong online presence was giving their competitors an advantage. Her homeless program was a noble venture that she was financing with personal money, and it had reduced the severity of the homeless population immediately around the store. But she was trying to empty the ocean with a thimble, according to Paul, and if she wanted the store to have longevity, they would have to move eventually, and they couldn’t afford to do that without money from an investor.
“What are you telling me?” she asked him bluntly.
“That we need a large influx of money to remain competitive in the marketplace. It requires more than we can afford. We need one or several investors, Spencer. We have to face that. We can’t hide from it anymore. And we need them soon.”
“We tried. I talked to Mike Weston. He wants forty percent ownership for starters, and within two years he wants sixty to eighty percent ownership of the store. He wants to move us uptown to a store ten times this size and have branches all over the country that we’d have no control over. There is no way I’m going to let that happen. We might as well burn the place to the ground now. I’m not giving anyone sixty to eighty percent ownership of Brooke’s.”
“Then we need to talk to other investors. Maybe he’s too big. He’s used to dealing with billion-dollar companies and having control.”
“He’s our only option that I know of,” Spencer said, looking straight at Paul. “And he’s not going to bend the rules for us. He’s not that kind of guy. He’s nice, but business is business.”
“Then negotiate with him. See if you can get him down to more reasonable percentages.”
“Within two years of investing, he wants majority control. That’s how they run their investments. And this won’t be a big moneymaker for him. We’re an oddity, kind of a little luxury snack, not a full meal. And he wants to gobble us up.”
“You’ve got to talk to him again, Spencer. We don’t have any other options right now, and I’m worried about the future. The future comes first. It’s tomorrow.”
“Are we in trouble now?” She looked worried too.
“No, but we will be. Sooner than you think. The world doesn’t protect little specialty stores like us anymore. They’ll eat us for lunch. We have to get our online shopping feature up and running in the next few months. It hurts us every day not to have it.”
“I thought you hired someone to do that,” she said, and frowned at him.
“I did. They’re slow. I’m still waiting for their final presentation and the estimate of what it will cost us.”
“Well, tell them to hurry up.”
“Will you talk to Weston again?”
“We don’t even know if he’s still interested. I doubt he is. I was very clear with him when I rejected his offer.”