My heart clenches. “I’m sorry. That’s terrible.”
“She was an excellent skier. Sometimes I think maybe it happened because she was . . .” He trails off as the waiter comes by to take our order.
As soon as the waiter disappears, he says, “I’ve never told anyone that, besides Brody.”
“You think it wasn’t an accident?”
His eyes search mine. “It must have been—I mean, she’d never leave us on purpose. It’s just, sometimes my head gets caught up in wondering if she did something on impulse.”
I squeeze his hand. “The what-ifs in the world can drive us crazy.”
“Tell me how you met Kian?” I notice that his eyes darken as he mentions him.
“He came into Marcelle’s and asked me out. I told him no, but he kept coming back. I admired his persistence.”
“Do you still love him?” Gray eyes capture mine.
My forehead wrinkles.
He tips my chin up, searching me, trying to read me. “You don’t, do you? Still love him?”
“I care about him as a person, but he wasn’t good for me. Maybe if I cared enough, I’d try to get him help.”
He exhales.
“You don’t like my answer?”
“He needs to find his own help. You don’t need to be near him,” he says with fierce eyes.
“Tell me about this woman you can’t have. Who is she?”
He stiffens as his eyes scan the part of the room I can’t see, his face hardening for a moment as he seems to settle on something or someone. “Divina. I met her when I was twenty-two and a rookie playing in Seattle. We fell in love and were together for years. We were engaged.” He says the words in his robot voice, as if they mean nothing, but I hear the bitterness in his tone.
“What happened to break you up?”
His eyes go back to that certain corner of the restaurant, then come back to me. “We’d come to New York on holidays and during the off season, mostly to see Brody and sometimes my father and half brother, Holden. She got along well with them, especially Holden.” He exhales. “We came back to Seattle after spending a Christmas in New York. She’d been distant over the holidays, spending time with friends in Manhattan and sightseeing. It didn’t click until we got home, and I saw a text pop up on her phone from someone called H. He was begging her to come back to him. I scrolled through and saw where they’d been sexting for months. She’d sent him photos of herself nude. He sent dick pics. The usual sordid shit.” He takes a sip of his drink, anger tightening his eyes. “I pieced it together. Holden couldn’t take his eyes off her at Christmas. Turns out, she’d been fucking him behind my back for a while.”
“Double betrayal.”
His jaw pops. “Yeah. Exactly. She packed her bags and moved to Manhattan and married him six months later. Holden always wanted everything Brody and I had. He was jealous of us from day one, maybe because we got more of Dad. Holden was only five when our dad left his family and made one with my mom.”
“How long ago did they get married, Divina and Holden?”
“Three years ago.”
I nod. “And then you got traded to New York.” To be close to her?
“Not for the reason you think. Moving here was always the plan, so I could spend more time with Brody.”
I take in the vulnerable glint in his eyes. I’m not sure I believe him.
“And now you have to see her with him?”
He takes a drink of his drink. “Occasionally.”
What would that be like? To see the love of your life married to a sibling?
He leans in over the table. “Holden is a creature of habit. He comes to Borelli’s on Wednesdays.”
I stiffen. Ah, I see what tonight really is.
Graham wants to flaunt me in front of Holden.
The heat from his kisses, the way we’ve been opening up to each other, it doesn’t mean anything. It’s been leading up to him seeing his half brother.
A slow simmer heats in my chest.
This is just a game to him, a charade.
We’re a fake couple. Yet, I let myself get swept up in the date and forgot.
Don’t get close to him, Emmy. Just play the game like you promised.
Fortunately the server brings our food, and I look down at it, not wanting Graham to see the growing frustration on my face.
Chapter 15
GRAHAM
Emmy and I are waiting for the check to arrive when she tells me she’s going to the ladies’ room. She rises gracefully as I brush my fingers down to her hand to give it a squeeze for the crowd at Borelli’s.