Gods, I’m tired.
I close my eyes. Just for a moment. Just to give me a break from spinning my mental wheels trying to see a way forward. It feels like I’ve been churning for my entire life and yet I’m really no better off than I was as a child.
All the freedom I fought for. All the power. And yet here I am, once again the target of the violence I fought so hard to escape. It’s not the same as growing up in my father’s house. It’s not remotely the same.
I feel just as trapped.
The door opens and I jolt. “Fuck, that hurts.”
I expected the nurse, or maybe a doctor. I didn’t expect my brother and my husband to enter the room without bloodshed. They both look like shit. Perseus probably hasn’t slept in days. Theseus has blood stained in the creases of his fingers.
I have never been so glad to see two people in my entire life. My lower lip quivers, and I can’t seem to make it stop. “Is that blood?” My voice comes out strange. I want to blame the drugs, but I feel small and weak and unforgivably glad to see my husband. “Are you okay?”
He looks down at his hands and curses. “I thought I got it all.”
“Shitty at your job as always, Theseus.”
I glare at my brother. I know his bitchy attitude spawns from worry, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to lie here and let him drive the wedge between me and my husband any deeper. “He is Hephaestus, and you will refer to him as such.”
“No, he’s really not.” Perseus says it without any inflection. “He resigned his title less than an hour ago. It was all very dramatic.” He glances at Theseus. “While I appreciate the tip about the ships, you were too late. They were unloaded sometime last night. Poseidon has no idea what was inside them.”
“You have all the resources of Olympus at your disposal. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”
The words don’t make sense. Not the resignation, and not whatever ship they’re talking about. I know I should care about the latter, but I can’t get past the former. “You resigned?”
He gives Perseus a dirty look and rounds the hospital bed to sink gingerly into the chair next to me. “I have some things to say, but I’ll wait until this puffed-up parakeet leaves.”
My brother crosses his arms over his chest. “I left my sister alone with you, and she’s been almost shot and successfully stabbed. Anything you want to say to her, you can say in front of me.”
Theseus’s jaw goes tight, and I can’t help tensing. The tiny movement sends a fresh wave of pain through me. I should have expected it, but it catches me by surprise and I whimper. He looks back at me and takes my hand. “Do I need to get the nurse?”
“No.” My voice is hoarse. “No, I’m fine.”
He narrows his eyes. “You refused more pain meds, didn’t you?” My brother starts cursing, but neither of us look at him. Theseus squeezes my hand slowly, almost like he’s not sure if it’s the right move. “We’ll talk, and then you’ll take your meds, Eris. Promise me.”
“It’s not safe,” I whisper.
“I’ll watch over you. No one will get close.”
It’s a testament to how weak I am right now that I want to look into those words, to mine them for proof that he cares about me as much as I’ve started to care about him. I close my eyes for a moment, fighting to think instead of just feel. It doesn’t work. I’ve been in a state of fight or flight for days, and my body just gives out and goes limp with relief knowing he’ll stand between me and anything that comes through the door. I wet my dry lips. “What did you want to say?”
He leans forward, as serious as I’ve ever seen him. “I’m done with this city and its power games, with Minos and his bullshit. I’m done being a weapon. Your brother is right; I resigned from the Hephaestus title.” He gives a self-deprecating grin. “I think we both know I was shit at it, and the cost is too damn high.”
“But…” I find myself gripping his hand as if I have the strength to keep him with me. If he isn’t working for Minos and isn’t one of the Thirteen, there’s nothing to keep him in Olympus. He hates this city; he’s never been shy about expressing that. “You’re leaving?”
“What? No.” He shakes his head. “Pandora’s not going anywhere, and I can’t really picture a life without Adonis. Not anymore.”
I give a trembling smile, all too aware of who he didn’t list. It’s okay. I married him for politics, not for love. For power. Funny how that rings so hollow right now when my heart feels like it’s turning to dust. “Adonis does have that effect on people he cares about.”