“Eris…”
“I don’t want him dead.” The words burst out of her. She stares at the ceiling. “My life would be significantly simpler if I did. He’s a pain in the ass. He’s crude and violent and a threat to everything I hold dear.”
I wait, but she doesn’t immediately continue. Nothing she’s said is wrong. I feel the same way, which is why I know there’s more to it. “But?”
“But.” She exhales slowly. “I’m not one to care about a sob story, but he’s got quite the sob story. It doesn’t excuse what he’s done, but I understand it, and I resent that I understand it. He’s very bad at comfort, which is almost a comfort in and of itself, because he tries. With me, a woman he should hate.” She lifts her head and meets my gaze. “He also fucks like a dream.”
Yes, that about sums it up. Theseus is rough and downright vicious at times, but he’s not a one-note individual. “I don’t think you can turn him at all, let alone in three days,” I say quietly.
“Maybe. Probably.” She gives herself a shake. “But apparently I’m not quite the monster I thought, because I want to try. Pandora doesn’t like our odds, but she admits there’s a slim chance we could do it. Will you help me?”
Yes. Fool that I am, I want to try, too. No matter that he’s an enemy, or why he came here in the first place. I care about him and I want to help, and it’s enough for me to start to nod before I catch myself.
But I do catch myself.
Because Theseus isn’t the only barrier between us and a happy, peaceful future.
“What about you and me? If you manage to pull this off and we save him, where does that leave us?”
“Us.” She presses her lips together. “I’d like to ask you a question.”
I already know I won’t like it, not with her studying me so seriously, but I nod all the same. This is going to hurt, but so much of being with Eris hurts. I’m all but used to the experience. “Okay.”
She opens her mouth, pauses, and then seems to force the words out. “Do you think we worked on our own? Really worked?”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to say that of course we worked. I love this woman, thorns and vicious ambition and all. I have for a very long time. I will continue loving her until my dying day, whether or not we’re together.
But the more I turn her words over, examining them from different angles, the more I wonder if there aren’t layers I’ve been intentionally ignoring for too many years. “What do you mean?”
“Far be it from me to pretend I know what a healthy relationship looks like, but I don’t think it’s two people crashing together and away again repeatedly over a decade.” She looks down at her hands, twisting her fingers in her lap. “I think neither of us were entirely honest with each other about what we wanted—what we needed.”
Blaming her for that would be so easy. She never cheated on me, but she also never waited long after our breakup fights to be photographed with others, and I know Eris well enough to know those photographs weren’t for publicity’s sake. She took those people home where the sheets were still warm in our bed.
But was I any different? My time with others hasn’t been as blatantly publicized, but I was hardly celibate during our breaks. If I’m going to be honest—and I can be nothing but honest right now—part of me was relieved for that freedom even as I missed her.
“What are you saying?”
She seems to force her hands apart. “I’m saying…” Another of those long exhales. “That neither of us is really built for monogamy, and maybe if we stop trying to cram ourselves into that box, we’ll be happier. Maybe if we try something new we can have some semblance of a steady, healthy relationship.” She shrugs. “It’s working out for my sister. Maybe it would work out for us, too.”
Part of me wants to argue. My parents are incredibly happy and stable without needing to be polyamorous. A lot of people are. But I can’t argue because Eris is right. “Last night…”
“It fit.” She gives a soft smile. “I don’t even like him most of the time, but I can’t pretend that it didn’t feel like you and I suddenly balanced each other out in a way that I’ve never felt before.”
That’s exactly it. It felt balanced. There’s something deeply ironic about Theseus potentially being the stabilizing glue that holds us together. I swallow hard. “And Pandora?”