No wonder I’d woke up all aroused. No, that wasn’t a word I would use for how I felt.
Horny. That’s what I was. Hot. And bothered. And turned on. And he wasn’t even here right now.
I reopened my eyes to Willow’s bicolored gaze. She stared at me and then let out a sound that I interpreted as Your thoughts are too loud, and I’m trying to sleep.
“Sorry, girl,” I told her, passing my fingers over her head one more time. I frowned, something occurring to me. “Hmm. I’ve never been this sexually frustrated before, so I’m trying to deal.”
A deep chuckle came from the kitchen.
My upper body sprung up. My head swiveled in the direction of the sound.
Cameron was leaning on the island, petting Pierogi with one hand and holding a mug with the other. There was a huge grin on his face. “Morning to you, too, love.”
Ugh.
I let myself fall on my back, disappearing from his sight behind the back of the couch. I brought my hands to my face and bit back a groan. That wasn’t something Cameron needed to hear.
His head reappeared over the couch. He leaned on the edge with his elbows, still with the smuggest smile known to man.
“Don’t let it get to your head,” I said, busying my hands with Willow’s fur. Trying to be casual. “Think of it as… morning wood. But for girls. Completely unrelated to you. It just happened.” I shook my head. “Sexual frustration is common.”
He let out a laugh this time. “Sure,” he said. “Only we both know it was all me. In fact, it’d be easy to prove how much.” And just as I was arching a brow, he was raising an arm and flexing his biceps. “See?”
I loved his arms. Specifically flexed like that. I let out a snort. “Really,” I deadpanned. “What are you, ten?”
Cameron straightened up. And in a swift motion I would have never anticipated, he took off his shirt.
My mouth clamped shut. My whole face warmed. Heated. He didn’t even need to flex. I swallowed. Hard. I was hornier than ever. “I keep forgetting how much you love to win,” I said under my breath.
“Nah,” he said, his lips inching higher. “You keep giving me reasons to play a harder and longer game, darling.”
Remnants from last night came back to me, not of him and me on the couch, but our conversation. The way it had revealed so many crucial pieces to understanding each other. It had been intense, but it also had been needed. In this moment, I felt closer to Cameron than I did to anyone else. He’d bared himself to me, and I knew how hard it had been for him. It made me feel horrible for not doing the same. Not completely. But how could I have told him all the things that led me to my biggest mistake? I was still scared Cameron would look at me differently. Like my father or David had. I was terrified.
As if sensing my inner battle, Cameron’s lightness vanished and he turned away from me.
My gaze followed him as he crossed the space to the far end of the living room, sculpted muscles dancing on his back and knocking every rational thought out of my head with each step he took. Cameron kneeled, disappearing from my sight for a second and popping up again holding a mat. It was The Mat. Which meant it was Yoga Time. I loved Yoga Time. It was the time of the day I could openly watch him.
“You’re off the hook today,” Cameron said, shooting me a knowing glance. “But you’re joining me tomorrow.” His expression turned serious. “I want you to try to meditate as well. I’m not in the best position to lecture anyone, God knows I have issues to sift through myself, but I think it will help you. With those bursts of anxiety you experience.”
“My… panic attacks.”
“Yes.” He gave me a nod. “It won’t fix them. I’ve learned that therapy is the key for that. But I’m not a therapist and I’m not your…” He trailed off, and my heart skipped a beat. “It’s a start. Baby steps, yeah?” I gave him a nod, and he let out an exhale, as if relieved I was letting him try to help. God. This man. “Good. I’ll guide you through the basics. Tomorrow. Worst case the workout will take your mind off things for a bit.”
I watched him unroll the mat. There was a concerned look on his face. I didn’t like it there. “I think you’ll need to wear a shirt then,” I told him. “I don’t think my mind will be able to relax otherwise.”
He gave me somewhat of a smile, as if he wanted to tell me that he appreciated me trying to lighten his mood. But the frown remained there.