How desperate would that be?
So, he’d gone completely quiet. Probably afraid to tell me that he wanted this to be done. Hell, he’d had more sex with me than he’d ever had with anyone, if what he’d told me was true. He was supposed to be the king of one-nighters until now. Maybe he was bored out of his mind and sick of spending his days with me. At least in a romantic way.
I knew this was going to be a huge mistake. We’d never fought much in the past, and if we had disagreements, we were able to come around fast. This was the reason I worried about breaking our pact.
Finn and I were different when it came to sex.
I mixed up the emotions between sex and love.
Finn just thought of sex as an act.
But I loved having sex with him. I was getting too attached. He was already my best friend, and now that we’d crossed this line, thoughts of having sex with Carl did not excite me.
The thought actually repulsed me, and that was a whole different situation I wasn’t ready to deal with.
The man I’d thought I’d marry was finally single, and he wanted to get back together with me. He’d rubbed my arm today, and I’d cringed at his touch.
I didn’t want Carl that way anymore.
Something had changed in me since I’d come home. Hell, maybe it all changed while I was away for a year, and I just hadn’t realized it. I’d built Carl up in my head.
Or I’d just experienced something so much more powerful that now I didn’t want anyone or anything else.
But Finn’s reaction had stung. I think he thought I should have let him off the hook and been more excited about going back to Carl.
I tiptoed down the hallway and saw him lying in his bed. All of his clothes were still on, and he was sprawled face down on top of the bedding. I picked up the flannel throw blanket and placed it over him.
I made my way back to my room and changed into my pajamas before climbing into bed.
I was finally getting what I wanted, and now I didn’t want it. What was wrong with me? Tears ran down my cheeks, and I pulled the comforter up around my neck and let myself cry. Because for the first time in my life, I didn’t know what the future looked like, or what I even wanted it to look like.
I was exhausted, and my eyes grew heavy, so I let the darkness take me.
My dreams were not filled with thoughts of my ex-boyfriend, the handsome doctor I’d planned to spend my life with. Once again, they were flooded with thoughts of my sexy best friend. The way he touched me. The way he made me feel.
And I let myself drift away because it was the one place I felt completely at peace.
A creak on the floor woke me from a sound sleep, and the room was pitch dark, so I knew it was still the middle of the night. I lay perfectly still, and I felt someone approach my bed. I jerked up to see a dark figure standing there, and on instinct, I shot up and punched him in the throat, my foot coming out and kicking as hard as I could. He fell forward toward me with a gasp.
A blood-curdling scream left my throat as I dove out of bed and ran across the room.
“Finn!” I screamed as I hit the lights and turned around to see the man I’d just assaulted on the floor was my best friend, lying in a ball and groaning.
“Finn? Oh my God.” I hurried over, and he was holding his throat and gasping for air.
I placed a hand on each side of his face, and he blinked up at me a few times.
“What the fuck, Miney? Did you just throat-punch me and kick me in the balls?” he yelled.
“I thought you were a stranger,” I said, helping him slide over so his back could rest against the wall. He closed his eyes, and his free hand moved to his crotch.
Oh my God. I kicked him in the dick and punched him in the throat.
I was definitely the worst fake girlfriend of all time.
“Why would a stranger be in your room?” he said, his voice hoarse.
I’d probably damaged his vocal cords and his family jewels all within a matter of seconds.
Fight or flight was clearly a real thing.
“Why would you be standing over my bed in the dark? It freaked me out.”
He groaned and shifted, pressing his back against the wall as he thought it over. “I don’t know. I took two Benadryl earlier, so I must have been sleepwalking.”
“I’m so sorry. What can I do? Do you want me to get you a glass of water?” I asked.
“No. Just sit here with me.” He reached for my hand, placing his on top of mine as he set it back down on his crotch. “Maybe you can comfort the big guy. It’s the least you can do after that vicious attack.”