But I also knew Finn. Knew that he wanted to travel the world and pursue his acting dreams. He’d never talked about wanting kids or wanting to settle down with one woman.
He’d always told me he’d be content being a fabulous uncle to my and his siblings’ kids.
So, he’d need to decide if that had changed or not.
I wouldn’t be settling for less than I deserved anymore, because being loved by Finn Reynolds had been life-changing for me.
Whether he wanted to stay with me forever would be his decision. I was going to enjoy every second of it while it lasted.
I’d been burning the candle at both ends lately, and I was feeling it. I’d taken on three more clients, and I’d had a few people hire me to decorate their homes for the holidays. That wasn’t what I’d planned to offer, but right now, the more work I could take on, the better. I was growing this company, and I needed to push hard to get things going. I’d always been prone to getting run down, so I was doubling up on vitamins to keep my energy up and stay healthy. There was always this nagging fear that I’d relapse. That my world would come crashing down again. That my future wouldn’t hold all the things that I hoped it would. So I was hyperaware of my body and how I was feeling at all times.
You go through several rounds of chemo, and it will teach you to look for red flags.
But tonight, I was surprising Finn. He’d been so supportive of my new business, fighting me when I’d insisted on paying rent to him and Maddox. Bringing me lunch at work all the time. Letting me live in his house while we pretended to be dating—when we were actually dating, we just weren’t admitting it to one another.
I wanted to do something nice for him tonight. I’d made him his favorite dinner, chicken marsala and mashed potatoes. I told him to go to the bedroom and wait for me after.
I’d snuck off to what used to be my bedroom to change into my outfit. The whole house was decorated for Christmas. Finn and I had spent the weekend after Thanksgiving shopping and decorating every inch of his home.
“Miney, are you coming?” he shouted from down the hallway.
“Hopefully soon. Be patient!” I yelled back, and he barked out a laugh.
I looked in the mirror and adjusted the two buns on top of my head before giving myself one more look-see. I couldn’t believe I was doing this.
The gold bikini top left little to the imagination, barely covering the girls. And the bottoms had a gold strap that went around my hips, with white sheer fabric that formed a see-through skirt around the bikini bottoms. I’d turned myself into quite the sexy Princess Leia, and I couldn’t wait to see the look on Finn’s face.
“Are your eyes closed, Chewy?”
“Yes, ma’am.” His voice was all tease. “You know I love surprises.”
“Well, get ready, because this is going to be your favorite of all time, I think.” I adjusted my straps as I stood outside his bedroom door.
“Better than when you dressed as Yoda in seventh grade when I begged you to be my sidekick?” he sang out.
“I think so.”
“Better than when you covered yourself in one hundred purple balloons for the hundredth day of school, and I spent the entire day popping them every chance I got?”
“We’ll see,” I said as I walked into the room. There were a few candles lit on the dresser, and the light from the moon illuminated the space. “You can open your eyes now.”
I leaned against the door frame, and he pushed up on his elbows as his gaze raked me over from head to toe. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
“You like it?”
He was on his feet and charging toward me before I could react. He tossed me over his shoulder like I weighed nothing and then hurried to the bed. But when he dropped me down onto the mattress, he did it slowly, his gaze locked with mine. “You are already my every fantasy, Reese Murphy. But this… this is next level. Princess fucking Leia. Hell yes, I like it.”
I bit down on my bottom lip because he wasn’t looking at me like I was his sexual fantasy. He was looking at me like I was the only girl in the world. Maybe I was reading into it, wanting this to be more than it was.
“Good,” I said, my voice just above a whisper as I tried to pull myself together.
“Get one thing straight before I worship every inch of your sweet body.” He stroked the strand of hair that had broken free from one of the buns sitting on top of my head. “This is hot, no doubt about it. But seeing you when you come home from a hard day of work, doing what you love, building your business, all tired and exhausted… It’s just as fucking sexy to me. Seeing you in your cowboy boots and a pair of worn denim after you take Millie for a long ride—so fucking sexy. There isn’t a version of you that I don’t want. I can’t get enough of any one of them.”