“I fucking love you, Reese Murphy,” he said as his arms came around me, holding me against him.
Our hearts were both racing.
Bodies covered in a layer of sweat.
The light from the fire danced on the walls around us.
I closed my eyes and wondered what it would feel like if Finn would be mine forever.
twenty-five
Finn
I carried Reese to the bathroom, with her legs wrapped around my waist as she chuckled. I set her feet down on the floor, and I cleaned myself up before grabbing a washcloth and turning on the hot water. I dropped to my knees and gently pushed her legs apart, taking my time to clean her up.
“Can I ask you something?” she said.
“Of course. We’ve never had secrets.” It was meant to remind her because she still hadn’t told me about that fuckface coming by her office.
“Are you this way with everyone?” She shook her head when I looked up and waved her hands around. “I just mean, if you met a woman and had sex with her, do you carry her around and then clean her up? It feels so intimate to me.”
Did she not get that everything about this was different?
I pushed to my feet, my hand landing on the side of her neck. “No. I’ve never done this with anyone. I’ve never woken someone up with my head between their legs or waited anxiously for them to come home. I’ve never had sex this many times with one person, nor have I craved it the way I do with you. Everything about this—about you—is different. Why is it so hard for you to believe that?”
“I do believe it. I just know that things are about to change. And I don’t want to put expectations on anything where feelings get hurt,” she said, looking away from me.
She was convinced that I would hurt her.
I understood it. My track record sucked.
“Listen, I know you have your doubts. But I’ve never lied to you, Miney. I wouldn’t be saying these things if I didn’t mean them. But I don’t know that you can say the same.”
Her gaze snapped in my direction. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that I don’t know how you feel about Carl. About me. Not really. I know that he is still in the background, waiting for me to leave.”
“I’m trying really hard, Finn, not to make you feel obligated to me.” She let out a long breath. “Here’s what I can tell you without any hesitation… I’ve never felt like this. I’ve never been so happy. So comfortable in my own skin, as well as with another person. I love you in a way that I never thought I could love someone. But, and it’s a big but…” She paused, motioning for me to go ahead with my joke because she knew me better than anyone.
“You know I like big butts,” I teased because I couldn’t help myself.
“I set you up for that.”
“Tell me what the big but is, Miney.”
“This movie deal. Your show taking off. Distance. Travel. Temptation. Change. That’s all waiting for us. And I don’t want anything to ever come between our friendship, so I think we need to let things play out. See how we feel when we aren’t together.”
“Always so fucking practical,” I said. “I’m not worried about it. You’ll see. I’ll prove it to you if that’s what you need.”
“I’m not worried about me, Finn.” Her gaze was so empathetic it made my chest squeeze. Of course, she wasn’t worried about herself. She was loyal as hell; we both knew it. “I want you to be happy, and I don’t ever want to hold you back in any way. I was in a relationship where I was the one who was held back. I won’t be that person, not when I love everything about you just the way you are. So, let’s just take this one day at a time.”
“All right. I can do that.” I kissed the tip of her nose. “But I want to remind you of something.”
“Okay, let me hear it.”
“You aren’t the only one that went without sex for almost a year. Do you not find it strange that I had such a hard time when you moved to London? Your boyfriend met someone new. But your best friend”—I pointed to myself—“was lost without you, Miney. So, the distance doesn’t scare me. I’ve already proven that when I’m not with you, I’m not looking for anyone else. I’m waiting for you. And that was before I fake dated you and got to have all the sex with my girl,” I said, keeping my tone light.
Her eyes blinked several times, and she smiled. “That’s impressive. I’m not going to lie.”