I cried for all that was unknown about my future.
I cried because I missed Finn.
I cried because I’d made a real mess of everything.
I cried because it crushed me that he thought I’d go back to Carl.
I cried because I was having a baby with the man I loved, and I didn’t know how to tell him.
And then I reached into my purse and pulled out some tissue and cleaned myself up.
You’ve got this.
One week had passed, and it felt like an eternity. But every single day, I received a text message the minute I opened my eyes, and they continued to come in throughout the day.
Every single day, there was a photo of me and Finn at different stages of our lives.
Together.
Always together.
I hearted each of the texts as they came in, but I hadn’t responded. I wanted to give him his time to figure out what he wanted. I wasn’t going to tell him how much I missed him right now. How I cried myself to sleep every night. How my body ached for him. How I missed his touch. His laugh. His smile. Hell, I missed the way he smelled.
How twisted was that?
I sat at my desk and scrolled through all the photos and the texts that had come through this week.
Monday
Chewy
I miss your face.
Chewy
I dreamed about you last night. About your body and the little sounds you make when you’re pressed against me, sleeping.
A photo came through of us on the first day of kindergarten. We were holding hands, and my head was tipped back in laughter, and he was just smiling at me. It was one of my favorite pictures of us. I printed it on my little phone printer and set it on my nightstand with the photo that he’d sent of us on the airplane.
Chewy
The food is good here, but it’s a little spicy. I miss taking the horses out with you. I think of you every night before the sun sets. It’s our time. Always has been, always will be.
Chewy
It doesn’t matter where I am. I think of you nonstop.
Chewy
I got hit on tonight, and I let her know I was practically married. Because, in a sense, I am. You have my heart, and you always will.
He sent a selfie of him holding up his phone with the vibrant city behind him and his handsome face smiling at me. I printed it and slept with it clutched to my chest.
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Monday evening, there’d been a knock on my door and an enormous vase filled with yellow daffodils and yellow roses was handed to me.
The card read:
There are no citrine flowers, so this is the best I can do. There are 29 daffodils and 29 roses （pending Janine at Cottonwood Blooms counted correctly）。 One of each flower for every year that I’ve been lucky enough to call you my best friend. You are that and so much more. I will love you forever, Miney.
Xo, Chewy
Tuesday
Chewy
I ate some sort of porridge this morning and got a bad case of the shits on set. Not a good look. I was running to the shitter between scenes. <poop emoji> <head exploding emoji> <fire emoji>
Chewy
It’s beautiful here. I wish you were with me. There is no one that I want by my side other than you. I ache for you, Miney.
Chewy
I’m glad that you keep hearting these texts, so I’ll keep them coming. But I wouldn’t mind hearing from you either. A sign of life. Can you throw me a bone?
I’d laughed at that. And of course, I responded.
I’m giving you time to figure things out. But I miss you so much, Chewy. I’m here, and I’ll continue to be here. Always.
Chewy
That’s all I needed to hear. I’ll keep blowing up your phone because you’re all I think about.
Chewy
Well, I think about your <cat emoji> often, too. About your perfect tits and your gorgeous legs and the way I wish they were wrapped around me.
Only Finn could be comfortable sexting me from Tokyo in a one-sided conversation.
Chewy
Just answer me with one word. Do you think about me and touch yourself?
Yes. No more questions. Keep the texts coming and go be a movie star.
Chewy
That’s easy. I’m lying in bed right now, and I’m thinking about you. Thinking about the sound of your laugh. Do you know it’s my favorite sound in the world?
My chest squeezed at his words. He’d sent a few more photos on Tuesday. One of us on Halloween with me dressed as Hermione and Finn dressed as Chewbacca. We were sitting at his parents’ kitchen table with all our candy between us. I smiled at the memory. He’d always take all the Snickers, and I’d go for the jelly beans. I printed that one, along with the other one he’d sent of us in high school, going to homecoming our junior year. We’d gone to every school dance together up until our senior year, when I started dating Carl, and Finn got to bless a few of the girls in our class that had been dying to go with him to a dance. My pile of pictures was growing, and I’d stopped at the craft store after work on Tuesday to get a new scrapbook to keep them all in.