I slowly look up, unsure of what to do. It must be from my parents, but they didn’t prepare me for this part of the ceremony. I’m supposed to speak the spell, cut my hand, and let the blood run into the basin of my choice, sealing my fate forever. They never said anything about a perfume, and they would never give me this flower.
Slowly, I reach into the basin and press the top of the bottle. A strong scent fills the air, fresh and earthy. It smells like grass and salt and something else I can’t quite place.
Then an image appears, and I gasp. I see myself practicing magic at night, standing on the western shore next to Wolfe. I’m pulling in the tide, and he’s watching me as if I’m the most stunning thing he’s ever seen. The memory consumes me, coming to life in my mind, strong and vivid and real. I search for other memories, but nothing else comes. Just this one.
I watch as water crashes over me and I almost lose myself in it. Then Wolfe pulls me onto the shore and helps me breathe again, saving my life for the second time. We watch the stars and the moon and each other.
It’s hard for me to leave him—I can see it in my slow steps and hesitations. I clutch the edges of the basin as the memory plays out in front of me, awakening something I thought I’d put to sleep.
He walks me up the shore and we pause, staring at each other. I ask if he wants to see me again, and he says yes, even though he sounds disgusted with himself when he answers.
I don’t even realize my eyes have filled with tears until one rolls down my cheek and falls into the basin, salt water instead of blood.
Do you want to see me again?
Yes.
I remember it. I remember the way the word slid inside my gut and changed me from the inside out. I remember how leaving him felt as impossible as seeing him again. I remember how he made me feel alive, how his magic made me feel alive.
I’m overwhelmed by it.
The scene fades, but I cling to the bowl, desperate to see more. Just one more glimpse, one more second, one more memory.
But nothing comes.
I stare at the bottle, completely devastated by what I’ve lost. I want back every single moment I spent with him. I want to see it all.
“Tana?” My father whispers my name, jolting me back to the present. Back to this wooden platform, surrounded by my coven and parents and future husband.
I finally let go of the basin, its sharp rim leaving dents in my palms. My dad gives me a questioning look. I try to smile but feel completely lost.
There are too many people watching me, and I feel frozen to this stage, unsure of how I’ll ever step down from it.
I take a deep breath, but it only makes me shake. The air tastes salty, just like the cologne. Just like Wolfe.
I look out over the crowd and find Ivy. She’s staring at me, her eyes wide. As soon as I see her, my vision blurs and my throat aches. And before I know what’s happening, she rushes onto the stage and pulls me into her arms.
“What did you see?” she whispers in my hair, holding me so close no one else can hear.
“A memory. With him.”
I can’t help the tears falling down my face now, and I tremble in Ivy’s arms.
“Listen to me. Do you want out of this? Tell me now.” Her words are clear and concise. Urgent.
“Yes.”
I feel her magic as it leaves her system, overwhelming me at once. The same soothing magic she puts in her nighttime tea swims in my head. The world spins, my eyelids get heavy, and I can no longer support my weight.
I collapse in Ivy’s arms as the world goes black.
* * *
I wake up in the same room I got ready in. Ivy is sitting next to me, tapping her polished nails on a porcelain teacup.
“What happened?” I ask, my voice groggy.
The tapping stops.
“You got sick and passed out. At least, that’s what everyone thinks.”
I slowly sit up. My head is pounding and my throat is dry. Ivy hands me a cup of tea.
The image from the copper basin comes rushing back to me, so vivid and real. I believe what I saw, the way my eyes were wide with wonder, the way my tears fell from amazement. I believe how deeply dark magic spoke to me and how it made me feel completely at home.
I understand why I was willing to give up this life for a different one. I don’t want to walk away from this, from my family and my coven and Ivy. But maybe this was never the life that was meant for me.
“What happens now?”
“Everyone is still out there. Your mother said you didn’t eat enough earlier and that the Covenant will happen at the top of the hour.”
I strain my eyes to read the clock on the wall. “That’s in thirty minutes.”