I know I’ll see my parents again when the chaos of my Covenant Ball has calmed and I can go home, be with them in private. But I can’t live there anymore. I’m no longer one of them. No longer allowed.
I force myself to breathe. I inhale deeply and wait for my tears to stop and my heart to slow.
I can’t believe I went through with it. But even as I sit here, scared and alone, I don’t regret it. I know it was the right choice for me. The wrong choice for everyone else, but the right choice for me.
Selfish.
Selfish and right.
“Mortana?”
I jump and look up, my eyes adjusting to the darkness in the trees as the sun sets.
Wolfe is standing in front of me, tense and unreadable. I push myself up from the ground, my gray silk dress damp from the earth, and meet his eyes. He hands me a moonflower, and I take it, brushing the petals lightly with my fingertips.
“Do you remember?” he asks me.
“No.”
He breathes out. “You don’t remember, and you walked away?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” He sounds angry, but I realize it isn’t anger at all. He’s protecting himself, not allowing any of his vulnerability to show. He’s scared.
“Because I believe you,” I say. “I used the memory keeper and knew I would never be happy if I wasn’t standing on the shore with you, practicing magic at night.”
His eyes get red and his jaw tenses. He nods several times and looks away, as if he’s embarrassed.
“Can I touch you?” I ask hesitantly.
He exhales and looks at me. “Mortana,” he says, his voice shaking, “the answer to that question will always be yes.”
I slowly close the space between us, wrapping my arms around him, holding on tight. He hesitates for a single breath, and then his arms are around my waist and his head is against my neck, his breath sending goose bumps all along my skin.
I thought it would feel odd, hugging this boy I barely know, but it doesn’t. I think my body remembers him, remembers the way it felt to be wrapped up in him.
He feels like home.
We hold each other for a long time, breathing each other in. I feel safe in his arms, peaceful and calm, even though I don’t remember. Even though I left such an unimaginable mess behind me. This is where I’m meant to be. Right here.
I finally pull away from him. “Take me home?”
He nods, holding his hand out to me.
And I take it, letting him lead the way.
* * *
Wolfe and I are sitting on a boulder that overlooks the eastern shore, watching as the sky changes from velvet blue to black. The stars are out tonight, and the half-moon shines brightly, reflecting off the water of the Passage. Lightning flashes in the darkness, and a few moments later, thunder rumbles in the distance. Then the sky opens up over the channel separating us from the mainland, drenching it in rain.
Landon’s boat is halfway across the water, the Emerald Princess sign lit up on the back of the ship. Small globe lights hang along the railings, slightly illuminating the silhouette of a person walking inside from the stern. I watch as it pulls farther away from the Witchery, and I wonder what kind of conversations he’s having with his parents, what he said to them after we spoke. I can’t deny the relief I feel as his boat gets farther away, knowing how close I was to being on it with him.
I’ve said goodbye to so many things today. I’m glad this island isn’t one of them.
The lights on the ship move in the distance, jerking to the right, and I sit up, straining my eyes to get a better look.
They swing back to the left.
“Oh my god,” I breathe, getting to my feet.
“What is it?” Wolfe asks, placing his hand on my back.
At first, I think it’s the storm battering the ship, but the swells aren’t big enough to jolt it like that. It’s something else. “The boat,” I say. “It’s caught in a current.”
For a moment, I just stare, mesmerized by the way the ship tips and thrashes as if it’s weightless. It starts spinning around and around, and I can hear the groaning and breaking of wood from here.
“We have to do something,” I say, rushing into the water, braiding the moonflower into my hair so I don’t lose it.
Wolfe follows me, conjuring a thick cloud of magic that fully immerses me. I feel it working, entering my lungs and flowing into the water, overwhelmed by its power.
“We’ll use a current to get there quickly. You’ll be able to stay underwater for minutes as long as you stay close to me.”