“I don’t blame you for wanting to downplay this, but you’ve never had a remotely romantic situation with someone before, and that’s bound to make you feel things.”
“I’m not sure I’d call it romantic.”
Ivy laughs. “You swam with a mainlander by the light of the moon. You don’t think that’s romantic?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it was,” I finally say. It was necessary and intense, terrifying and relieving. I don’t think it was romantic, but I get what Ivy is saying.
“Which brings me back to my last point. Say thank you, then never see him again. Get the closure you need so he is no longer a distraction. That’s the best you can hope for.”
Hope paves the way for wanting things that were never part of the plan.
“Okay. Never again,” I agree.
She studies my face, seemingly trying to figure out how serious I am, then nods as if she’s satisfied.
She changes the subject, talking about the tea shop and different brews she’s working on. Then, as we make our way back toward Main Street, she says, “Don’t hate me.”
“Oh no.”
“My parents want me to make a new blend… inspired by you and Landon… called Tandon.”
“Absolutely not,” I say, horrified.
“I told my parents you wouldn’t like it, but they insisted.”
“And what would you magic it with?”
“Excitement and peace,” she says. She lowers her voice and gets a mischievous look on her face. “But I’d add a drop of quiet defiance, just for you.”
“Excuse me, when have I ever been defiant?”
“You’re defiant every day when you quietly insist on walking the path your parents have laid out for you on your own terms. You’re defiant when you’re honest with Landon and when you go swimming in your nicest dresses.” She pauses. “And you’re definitely being defiant by making a boy named Wolfe a memory keeper.”
“I never said it was a memory keeper.” The spell I spoke earlier rushes back to my mind, and I blush.
“You may as well have,” Ivy says, rolling her eyes.
I don’t admit to it, but she knows me too well.
We walk back into the shop, and I take off my jacket and head over to the wooden island to finish Wolfe’s cologne.
Dad pokes his head into the back. “I thought that was you. Honey, we’re going to have to postpone our restock date—I forgot about the council dinner your mother has tonight. Can we do it tomorrow instead?”
Ivy and I exchange a quick glance before I answer, “Sure, Dad, that works.”
“Great,” he says, slipping back into the store and letting the door swing shut behind him.
“Tana, you can never see him again after tonight. Give him your gift, get your closure, and make sure he’s on the last ferry out.”
I nod. She’s right, so right it makes my chest ache.
“Never,” she says.
“I know.”
She looks at me, head tilted to the side. “Good,” she finally says. Then she gives me a quick hug and leaves.
fifteen
I arrive at the western shore a few minutes before midnight. That’s how he told me to reach him: whisper his name into the wind at midnight. If he hears it, he will come.
I won’t pretend to understand the way his magic works, and there’s a part of me that worries he gave me false instructions just so I’d feel foolish whispering his name on the deserted beach.
And yet, when midnight arrives, I do exactly that. His name falls from my lips and drifts into the velvety black sky.
“Wolfe.”
I say it only once. I’m self-conscious enough already, whispering his name while holding the memory keeper I made for him. I know the evening we spent together didn’t carry the same weight for Wolfe as it did for me—he saved my life, and I will never forget it. But it also might be the only night that will ever be truly mine, a night off the path I’ve been walking my entire life.
I watch the waves as they roll onto the shore, and I’m suddenly overcome with an urge to rush into the sea, to call up the wind and float above the water by moonlight. I want to be cradled by the Earth’s breath and invite the retreating waves back to where I stand.
I pace along the beach, trying to fight the desire that’s rising within me. I stop when Wolfe’s words rush back into my mind.
What should scare you most about tonight isn’t that you’re about to use high magic, Mortana. What should scare you most is that you’re going to want to use it again.