She looks at me for a moment, studying my face before finally nodding. “Well, try to get to bed early tonight. We can stop at the Enchanted Cup on the way home and get some of their Sleepful blend.”
“That would be nice.”
“Ivy, why don’t you tell me more about your Covenant plans?” My mother picks up her teacup again and looks at Ivy.
Sometimes I think Ivy is the daughter my mother wishes she had. I don’t resent Ivy for it—not at all. If anything, I wish I could be more like her. I have this incredible role to play, and I know I’m doing a poor job of it.
Ivy would be better, and we all know it. But my last name means it is my responsibility, as if a name makes a difference.
The thought startles me. It does matter… doesn’t it? When did I start questioning these traditions and values that are pillars of our coven?
But I know the answer: it was the moment I touched the moonflower and it didn’t hurt. It was the evening I practiced a magic I was never meant to encounter, and it makes me angry, enraged that I’ve allowed a single person to plant these ideas in my mind. As I raise my teacup to my lips, I notice the porcelain is trembling in my hand. I quickly put it down, but it’s too hard, and it slams into the saucer on the table.
“Tana, be careful!” my mother exclaims. She looks mortified, even though Ms. Talbot is still in the back. “Your behavior is troubling. Please pull yourself together.” She shakes her head. “I certainly hope Landon has recovered from his autumnal swim with you. Honestly, Tana, what were you thinking?”
“There was nothing to recover from,” I say. “It was his idea.”
“Here we are!” Ms. Talbot singsongs as she comes out of the back with folds of fabric draped over her arms. All of them are shades of blue, deep navy and cerulean, stone and azure. The fabric shimmers in the light like the sea beneath a full moon, and I sit up in my seat and reach toward the silk.
“Oh, Shawna, this is gorgeous,” my mother says, pulling a piece of fabric from Ms. Talbot.
“That’s the one I like best, too,” I say. It’s the stone silk, a blue-gray fabric that could be mistaken for foaming waves. Mom meets my eyes, a warm smile spreading across her face. “It will look perfect on you,” she says, and it somehow fills all the empty spaces inside me.
She’s proud of me. I know it even when I set my teacup down too hard and when my mind is elsewhere. I feel it radiating from her, and I wish I were at the perfumery so I could bottle it up in one of our scents, spray it in the air when I need a reminder.
“Tana, that color was made for you,” Ivy says.
Ms. Talbot beckons me to the platform and begins taking my measurements. She wears narrow wire-rimmed glasses, and her brown skin is pulled taut at her forehead by the sleek bun atop her head. She bites her lip as she measures, writes down the numbers, then measures again. The dress will be cinched at the chest and will flow down from the waist, but there will be no crinoline or extra fabric beneath the silk. It will trail behind me, and I will glisten just like the water.
I’ve never had anything like it, such a far cry from the pastels and soft colors of the Witchery. I can’t wait to wear it.
My mom comes up behind me and places a gemstone necklace around my neck, heavy with the weight of a dozen sapphires.
My hand drifts up to the necklace, but as I look at myself in the mirror, it doesn’t feel right.
“I was hoping I could wear your pearls,” I say.
I see the surprised look on my mother’s face, followed by the small smile that tugs at her lips. She swallows and pulls the necklace away.
“Of course you may,” she says, her eyes meeting mine in the mirror.
When Ms. Talbot is done with my measurements, she tells us to come back in two weeks for my first dress fitting. We finish our tea and walk out onto Main, not as busy now that it’s later. The days are getting shorter, and most of the shops have lanterns lit outside that cast a warm amber glow over the cracked stone and climbing vines.
“Why don’t I take you girls out to dinner?” my mother asks, pulling Ivy and me in close.
“Just the three of us?” I ask. We eat dinner with Dad almost every night; I don’t think Mom has ever taken me out to dinner with a friend.
“Just the three of us.”
“I’m free,” Ivy says, and I lean into them.
“Sounds perfect.”
There are moments when I think I’ll be crushed by the weight of expectation and responsibility, when I worry I will never live up to the role I’m meant to play. But then there are moments when I look around the Witchery, at my parents and friends, and I’m filled with a deep pride that runs beneath my skin, nourishing every part of me.