“I want to explain,” he repeated. “The thing is…” He swallowed, and stopped talking, evidently unsure of what the thing was. “Maybe I am scared,” he finally admitted, very quietly “My parents…”
Abby waited, until he said, “It’s kind of dysfunctional. Kind of a mess.”
Abby considered, then said, “I think most people’s parents are some flavor of mess.”
“And if you see a woman only once, she doesn’t get a chance to hurt you,” he said, opening his eyes to give her a look from underneath his unfairly long lashes. “Or ghost you.”
“I didn’t ghost you.”
He shook his head. “I woke up and you were gone, Abby. That’s pretty much the definition of ghosting.” He shook his head, sending water dripping from his nose. “I wasn’t even sure you were real.”
Abby didn’t know what to say to that… but she found herself wondering how she would have felt if a guy she’d gone home with had fled from her bedroom before she’d had a chance to say goodbye. She swallowed hard, feeling off-balance. And guilty.
“Stay here a sec. I’m going to grab something.” Abby got to her feet, pulled up her hood, and ran to where she’d leaned her bike against a neighboring tree. From her handlebar bag, she removed her microfiber towel and the single long-sleeved shirt she’d packed, thinking she’d need them at some point if the rain kept up. She shoved them into her pockets and ran back to Sebastian.
“Here. Dry off a little.” It was still pouring, but at least the tree was giving them some shelter. Sebastian took the towel, gave his face a perfunctory swipe.
“You’re shivering,” he said.
“I’m fine.”
“I’m sorry, Abby.” He was very close to her, his thigh pressed against the side of her thigh, with his arm against her arm. “This was dangerous and dumb, and I shouldn’t have made you do it.”
“It’s okay. Really. It’s fine.” She swallowed hard, steeling herself. “And I shouldn’t have ghosted you. You’re right. It wasn’t very mature.” She hesitated, then made herself say it. “Like I told you, I’d never done anything like that before…”
He opened his eyes again, just a slit. “Never? I think you said ‘hardly ever.’？”
“Never,” Abby repeated. “It’s—I guess it’s just not who I am.” Also, it wasn’t as if she’d had endless opportunities to go home with handsome strangers. But never mind that.
“Hold still.” Sebastian reached over—not very far, she realized, they were so close together that there wasn’t much distance to cover—unclipped her helmet’s chin strap and pulled it off.
“What are you doing?” she asked, a little faintly.
“Come here,” he said, beckoning her closer. Abby felt like she’d been hypnotized as she leaned toward him. She wondered if he was going to try to kiss her… but what he did was tilt her head forward and gently towel off her hair. He did it just right, his hands firm but not too rough, gently squeezing the strands and rubbing at her scalp. When he stopped, their faces were very close. She could see the blue-gray of his eyes, and the drops of water clinging to his lashes, and she could hear her pulse beating in her ears. For what felt like an endless span of time, they just looked at each other. Then, slowly, Sebastian reached out and put his fingers on Abby’s cheek.
She thought, I have a boyfriend.
She thought, He just wants to be my friend. And this is not friendly behavior.
She thought, He is going to kiss me. I should stop him. She pictured her arm, lifting, her hand, pressing on his shoulder, pushing him away. But, even though she could imagine every step, her body did not seem interested in stopping Sebastian’s mouth’s inexorable progress toward her own.
Abby let her eyes slide shut, and her lips part as Sebastian got closer, and she could feel his breath on her skin.
That was when Abby’s phone rang.
“Hey there!” Jasper said, sounding cheerful and chipper. “Just dropped off the first crew, and I’m on my way back to you. Google says thirty-seven minutes. And I’m bringing hot coffee.”
“You’re an angel from heaven,” Abby said.
“Sit tight. Stay safe. I’ll see you soon.”
Abby ended the call. Sebastian was still very close to her, still looking at her with something close to wonder on his face. She took the towel out of his hands and handed him her shirt. “Put this on.”