But this can’t last. This won’t last. Nothing ever does. I’m broken, and I break things. We’re holding on to each other so tight because we know this ship is already sinking. And I’m the iceberg. It’s always me.
The clock is ticking. It pulses in my ears to the rhythm of the Prince cover band playing not twenty feet away from us on the other side of that locked door. Tick, tick, tick.
How soon before he lets go?
How soon before I’m back to saving myself?
It’s time to do what I do best. It’s time to let go first.
49
“Wait, say that again,” I say, heart in my throat.
Doc Brady just laughs. “You heard me, Langley.”
I grin ear to ear, swinging my legs off the PT table. “Yeah, but I’m gonna need you to say it again.”
“You’re cleared, Langley. You can start skating again,” he repeats.
My heart does a double flip. “Doc, I’m gonna kiss you on the lips,” I tease, hopping off the table and holding my arms open.
He laughs and steps back. “I think my fiancé will object. He’s very territorial.”
I drop my hands. “Yeah, he’d probably kill me.”
“No lie,” he says with a satisfied smirk, his eyes back on his tablet.
Doc Brady’s fella is an MMA fighter or something like that. I met him last week. He’s tattooed and burly with a mafia vibe and a lip piercing. He clashes spectacularly with Brady’s clean-cut, nerdy look, but who am I to judge when opposites attract?
Brady glances over the rim of his square-framed glasses at me. “We’re gonna keep you in the compression sleeve for a bit yet, just to give the knee some added stability.”
“Yeah, cool,” I say with a nod.
“And I want you sticking to the ice routine morning and night. And you said you’ve been using the sauna to help with inflammation?”
I bite back my smirk. Sure, we’ll go with that. “Yeah, saunas. I’m a recent convert. Highly restorative.”
“Well, good. Keep it up. Your range of motion is great. Strength and conditioning team are all pleased. Scans look good. Pain and inflammation are managed. At this point, if I keep you off the ice any longer, you’re liable to cause a new injury out of sheer boredom. Am I right?”
“Doc, I’m climbing the damn walls,” I reply earnestly.
He laughs, giving my shoulder a pat. “Then get out of here, Langley. Go join practice.”
“And I’m cleared for the game this Saturday?”
“So long as you make it through practice in one piece, I don’t see why not,” he replies.
I practically fly out of the physical therapy center and through the gym, pulling my phone from my pocket. I instantly dial Tess, holding the phone up to my ear.
She answers on the second ring. “Hey—”
“Babe, I’m cleared,” I say with a huge grin.
“Oh—” I hear the sound of a shuffle. “Hold on—”
I keep moving down the hallway towards the locker room as she goes quiet on her end. She’s back in moments.
“Ry, that’s wonderful news,” she says. “Did Rachel clear you?”
“Well, Brady did, but yeah,” I reply.
“That’s so great. I’m so happy for you.”
Her voice is like a shot of serotonin straight to my chest. I keep smiling as I hurry down the hallway. “Yeah. I’m cleared for Saturday’s game, and I want you to go. Tess, I want you there.”
“You want me to go to your game?” she says, and I know she’s looking for an exit.
Fuck.
She’s been doing this all damn week. It’s like, when we’re together, everything is perfect. She’s present and loving and so much damn fun. We laugh together and talk. It’s never been so easy for me to just be with someone. Last night, she even let me walk her through the basics of Mario Kart. She was bored for every second of it, but then as a tease she blew me while I tried to play a round. I lost. Fucking worth it.
When we’re together, we don’t feel like two people at different stages of life who want different things. Nothing feels awkward or forced or rushed. She’s cool and funny, and she’s so sexy it will quite literally kill me.
I just want a chance. I want her to stop thinking about life as a chase where she’s perpetually on the run. What is it gonna take to let me catch her?
“I’m not sure tomorrow will work,” she says. “I’ve got a lot of planning to do for the gala next week.”