I pull the door shut and drop my backpack down between my feet, choking on a sob. I can’t cry in front of this man. Not again. Losing it on him the other night was bad enough. Jake is still walking around on eggshells like he’s afraid I’ll crack. He keeps offering me ice cream.
Ilmari’s eyes go wide. “Tess, what—”
“Drive,” I gasp, flailing wildly for my seatbelt as tears fill my vision.
“Tess—”
“Ilmari, drive!”
He doesn’t push me again; he just shifts the truck into reverse and pulls out of the driveway. In moments, we’re meandering through his quiet neighborhood, his gaze locked on the road.
I switch between crying and sucking down air as my phone buzzes in my pocket with more missed calls. I can’t stand the feel of it touching me. It’s as unwanted as Troy’s actual physical touch. Even from such a distance, he can still force his way on me.
Jerking the phone from my pocket, I drop it down into the cupholder where it continues to softly buzz. The sound is muted by the truck’s engine and the quiet hum of the radio.
“When you’re ready,” Ilmari says, still not looking my way.
We drive for a few minutes in silence. He turns left out of his neighborhood, headed for the beach. We’re meeting his crew this morning, the three volunteers that form the core of his nonprofit. I can’t face them if I’m a sobbing mess. I have to let this go. I have to give it a voice.
“She looks like her,” I say at last. “I remembered seeing her on beach day, but she had a big hat and the kids and the dogs. I didn’t focus on it too much then. But this morning she really did look just like her. It took me by surprise is all,” I finish, sniffing back my tears.
“O’Sullivan’s wife. She was at the house,” Ilmari intuits.
I nod, dropping my hands to my lap as I recover my breathing.
After a minute of silence, he asks the obvious next question. “Who does she look like?”
“My husband’s secretary,” I reply, my mind flooding with the memories I try so hard to keep locked away. “They had an affair for almost a year. I caught them together…more than once. By the end, they weren’t even trying to hide from me.”
Candace was only the first woman I caught him with but there were so many others.
The silence stretches between us as my phone continues to buzz in the cupholder.
“Is his infidelity the reason your marriage ended?” Ilmari asks.
“One of the many reasons,” I admit. “It certainly sped things along.”
Ilmari glances down to my buzzing phone. “Your phone is ringing.”
“I know,” I reply, gazing resolutely out the windshield as I watch the palm trees flash by.
“It’s him,” Ilmari intuits again.
“Yes.”
“Rachel told me today might be difficult for you, though she didn’t say why. She’s given me strict instructions to bring you home with me.”
“I’m fine, Mars,” I reply with a weak smile.
He flicks on his turn signal, following the signs for the beach. “Fine you may be, but I do as I’m told. You’re not leaving my sight until I deposit you safely in my wife’s arms.”
I close my eyes, breathing deep. I know with a surety marrow-deep that this is why I got on a plane to Jacksonville. I wanted to be close to Rachel as I made this leap. I wanted to freefall knowing someone would brave any element to catch me. Rachel will do anything for the ones she loves, just like me.
But now she has three men to catch her from falling. Ilmari Price doesn’t take leaps of faith. He is the steadfast rock that moves but is never shaken. Same with Caleb. Jake might be more of a cliff jumper at heart, but even then, I’d rather know he’s at my side, helping me swim back to shore.
I’m safe here with Rachel. I’m safe with her husbands. I’m safe with the Rays. I’ve set all the pieces of wood on this bonfire. Signing the divorce papers and delivering them to Troy was the kerosene. It’s time to light the match.
I turn to face Ilmari. It feels oddly right that it be him. My quiet protector. I want to stand now in the shadow of his strength.
“Hey, Mars, will you do something for me?”
He glances my way, keeping one eye on the road. “What?”
Slowly, I reach forward and pick up my phone. A half-dozen missed calls and a string of text messages light up the screen. Troy is in rare form this morning, desperate to hurl his insults and cut me down.
I hold out the phone towards Ilmari. “When this rings again, will you answer it?”