“I have nothing to say to a backstabbing, lying bitch. She ruined our family, Mom!”
“I didn’t mean to.” Maya takes my hands in hers. “Please, Mia. Please don’t stop talking to me. I’m ready to do anything…”
“Give me back my voice for the last eleven years of my life.”
She pales, her words coming out shaking. “You…know I can’t do that.”
“There you have it, then.” I slap her hands away.
Maya sinks her nails into my skin. “Mia, please. We’re not only twins, but we’re best friends. I can wait for you to forgive me as long as it takes, but please don’t throw me aside.”
“Best friends don’t do this to each other.” I unscrew her fingers. “I trusted you most in the world, Maya. I was stupid enough to think you were protecting me, but all this time, you’ve been stabbing me in the back.”
“Mia…” She tries to hold on to me again, but Mom pulls her back.
“That’s enough, Maya. You both need time off. You’re on a high of emotions and this clearly can’t be resolved right now.”
“But…” Maya protests. “I can’t lose Mia.”
I look the other way, refusing to give her the time of the day. I still can’t properly process what she did. All those years she offered me comfort and made sure I was never alone in the darkness wasn’t because she loved me. It was because she felt guilty.
The reason she stopped her jealousy fits after the kidnapping wasn’t because of a screwed-up sense of sisterhood, it was because of guilt.
The way she insisted I tell her first if I remembered anything wasn’t because she wanted to be there for me. It was because she needed to warn Mrs. Pratt or shut me up if I ever decided to come forward.
The reason she was so jealous and disapproving of Landon wasn’t because she wanted to protect me like Nikolai does, it was because she was worried I was slipping between her fingers and confiding in someone else other than her.
Everything was lie after damn lie.
I don’t even think I know her anymore.
But I can’t focus on that when someone a lot more important is fighting for his life on the other side of the wall.
I always thought Maya was the closest to me, but she didn’t care for me unconditionally, Landon did.
He’s the one who told me for the first time in my life that I should kill the monster in my life instead of dying trying. He’s the one who encouraged me to talk again, even unknowingly.
Maya starts crying and calling for me, but Dad physically removes her and says he’ll take her home.
I don’t care. I just need her out of my sight for the foreseeable future.
Hell. Maybe it would be a good idea to never see her again.
Mom rubs my arm. Her face is ashen, her eyes a bit molten, as if she finds it as hard to process the situation as I do. Good. That way she understands how disoriented I feel about the entire thing and won’t force me to ‘talk it out’ with Maya.
“I’m so sorry, honey.”
“Forget it, Mom. I don’t want you apologizing on her behalf.” I’m talking and signing at the same time, I realize. I did the same earlier as well. Subconsciously. Until Maya grabbed my hands.
“I’m not apologizing for Maya. I’m apologizing for disappointing you as a mother. I should’ve seen the signs of Mrs. Pratt's authoritarian nanny style. I should’ve paid more attention to Maya’s small bursts of jealousy and her overindulgence in asking for attention. I chalked it up to coming-of-age symptoms and I’m so, so sorry, Mia.”
It's my turn to rub her arm. “It’s not your fault, Mom. You…couldn’t have guessed it was Mrs. Pratt when she quit a whole year beforehand. As for Maya…that’s all on her. I’ll be seriously mad if you offer excuses for her.”
“I won’t. I believe we all need time to process this before we take any further steps.” She strokes my hair and cheek as if trying to remove some of the blood stains.
I washed up and changed into Katya's spare bodyguard suit as soon as we got here, but I must still have some of Mrs. Pratt's remains on me.
Mom’s eyes fill with tears. “I don’t know what would’ve happened if she’d gotten you this time.”
“I’m here, Mom. It’s okay.”
“Oh, honey.” She pulls me in for a hug and I can feel her sniffling in my neck. “I’m so happy to finally hear your voice again.”