Lauren remembered that he’d specifically mentioned how he envisioned a post-makeover Cold World being a place that was more Instagram-ready, somewhere that inspired people to take pictures or host their most meaningful moments. She also figured that this was Asa’s way of feeling her out on whether she’d want to get married, something they’d loosely talked about but never in an immediate, okay-let’s-do-it kind of way.
“I don’t know how I feel about a public proposal,” she said, scrunching her nose and shaking her head with an expression she hoped he knew was more playful than not, even though the sentiment was true. “But other than that, yes, it sounds like a very nice dream.”
“Ha,” he said. “Noted.”
She started to reach for him, but he gestured toward the mural. “I did add a little detail just for you, though,” he said. “Do you see it?”
“Of course,” she said, turning back toward the mural and scanning it until she located the rosebush again. “It’s the little fox with the—”
Only then did it fully hit her, what he was doing, and when she turned back to find him on one knee, a ring box open in his hand, she couldn’t help it. She burst into tears. And not pretty ones, either—deep, snot-coming-out-of-her-nose hiccuping sobs.
“Oh,” he said, immediately getting to his feet and coming to wrap his arms around her. “Hey,” he said, rubbing down her back. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m sorry. I was trying to warn you.”
That made Lauren pull back from him, conscious that she’d already left a wet patch on her cardigan that he was wearing. “Warn me?”
He gave her a crooked grin, and she saw that his eyes were shiny, too. “An ominous word for a marriage proposal, huh? I just meant that I know you don’t like surprises. But I also really like surprising you, so . . . I was trying to compromise. I promise if you say yes I’ll work on it.”
Lauren laughed, hugging him tighter. “Of course it’s a yes. Sorry if I ruined your moment.”
“Not possible,” he said. “But technically, I didn’t get to ask. Can I run it back from the beginning? Should I get back down on one knee?”
“That won’t be necessary,” she said. She didn’t want him to be that far away, didn’t want to lose the warmth of his nearness and the feeling of his arms around her. “But go ahead and ask, if you want to make it official.”
He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, looking down at her with such tenderness she almost started crying again. “Lauren Fox, will you marry me?”
“Yes,” she said. “Yes, please.”
Asa kissed her then, a deep, aching kiss that she felt tingle down in her toes, although some of that might have been the snow seeping through her flats. When he brought his hands up to cup her cheeks, they seemed to both realize at the same time that he was still holding the ring box, and had never actually presented her with the ring.
“Fuck,” he said. “Sorry. This didn’t go exactly the way I’d planned it.”
Suddenly it all made sense to her, Kiki’s little comments earlier, how on edge Asa had seemed all night. She let him slide the ring over her finger, surprised at how strange and yet comforting its weight already felt on her hand.
“It looks good on you,” Asa said.
“Not a bad souvenir,” she said. “Better than what they have at the Ripley’s Believe It or Not!”
He barked out a laugh. She was always gratified by how much a Ripley’s joke seemed to land with him. He just ate them up for some reason.
“I went to Cold World and all I got was this lousy T-shirt,” he said, pulling her toward him for a kiss. “And the love of my life.”
Acknowledgments
First of all, I would like to acknowledge that I’m bisexual and that climate change is real.
Those aren’t related to each other but I live in Florida so sometimes it’s nice to get these things off my chest.
I thought it would be easier to write acknowledgments for my second book, because I could basically just copy the ones for my first book, make a few adjustments, and call it a day. Weirdly, it turned out to be even harder. The truth is that by now there are SO MANY people I feel very grateful for, and also I am so tender over this particular book that I get very emo when I think about its journey.
So, here is a list that I hope is exhaustive and complete but, of course, I will remember more people the second I’m holding the final, printed, unchangeable book in my hands: Laura Bradford for being an absolute rock star but more importantly just a rock; Taryn Fagerness for talking up my books overseas; Kristine Swartz for being a badass editor and efficient emailer and downright lovely person （triple threat!）; the hardworking, passionate people at Berkley including but not limited to Mary Baker, Bridget O’Toole, Hannah Engler, Dache’ Rogers, Kristin Cipolla, and Alaina Christensen; art director Colleen Reinhart and artist Jenifer Prince for once again giving me the absolute cover of my dreams—I’m just waiting for someone to say “then why don’t you marry it” because I absolutely would; my family with a special shout-out to my father-in-law Gary for all the childcare help during the pandemic especially; if I only respond to one out of five of your “fast food news” texts, I’m sorry! As your son would say, if you like everything you like nothing!; Brittany, for being the absolute best sister I could ask for and also for not dying; I guess I could thank everyone here for not dying but you, like, had the opportunity and then REALLY didn’t die so I think you deserve the extra gold star; Charis S., how the fuck have we been friends for twenty years?! I don’t know what I’d do without you; Erin W. for inspiring me with your glow-up （to be clear, I’m not going to run half-marathons, but it’s inspiring that you do）; Kristin H. for being a beautiful person inside and out; Jessica C. for being as perfect as a Rose Byrne smokey eye and a trustworthy steward of Taylor Swift tickets; Liz K. for putting together a kickass event and giving great brunch chat; Chase H. for your vulnerability and friendship and love of Christmas; Brad P. for listening to me talk about this book on the back porch so many times; Kelly H. for painting the kinds of murals that made me want to write a character who would do the same thing （and more importantly, made me want to mastermind my way into being your friend）; Carmen A. （tu eres la reina de los libros!） for having like eighteen separate roles in my life and I would add more if I could; Emma A. for being smashing; Ange for all the email correspondence and making me feel like Cold World was a real place; Jay Vera Summer for being so above-and-beyond encouraging; Kim Karalius for reading this chapter-by-chapter at one point just to cheer me on; Amy Lea and Hannah Olsen for being the Pitch Wars lights of my life; Jessica Joyce for making that badly photoshopped picture that makes me snort-laugh every time I think about it and for generally understanding that with writing friends, sometimes you’re the baby and sometimes you’re the bj?rn; Rachel Lynn Solomon for being a true gift to the book community and an amazing friend; Julie Tieu for lots of stuff but in particular that time we chatted on the phone for two hours while I circled around looking for a parking space lol; Sonia Hartl and Annette Christie for being so supportive; Regina Black for writing the way that you do; Tracey/Tori/Alanna Martin by any name you’re a great friend!; Erin Connor and Hailey Harlow for the New Romantics group chat, where there is no limit on how unhinged we can get; Kerry Winfrey for your gift of making everything cozy and heartfelt and good; K.T. Hoffman for reading a draft of this book and sending me the kindest email I’ve ever received in my life, truly you don’t know how many times I’ve reread it and it’s weird that even a comment like “horny ass” can make me tear up but what can I say; the Berklete Discord; writers I very much admire whose good opinions I shamelessly courted prior to publication （aka asked for a blurb） like Kate Clayborn, Alexandria Bellefleur, and Anita Kelly; the writers I very much admire who read LITTOSK early and said lovely things like Ali Hazelwood, Sarah Hogle, Chloe Liese, Nicole Tersigni, and others I’ve already thanked elsewhere here; Yes, I do hear the music playing me off the stage but I have more I want to say so I’ll just lean into the microphone and talk louder. I also have to acknowledge the Ask a Manager blog even if it’s the reason I realized Lauren would never have sex at work on the clock, sorry everyone; pizza rolls especially when they’re too hot to eat; Phoebe Bridgers for putting out “Sidelines”; the part in While You Were Sleeping where she’s standing on the stairs and says she doesn’t have anyone; the 1975 song “Somebody Else” but also the Chvrches cover of that same song; “Snow on the Beach,” which has me convinced that Taylor Alison Swift has access to my Google docs; the two friends of my older brother who I had very mild crushes on as a teenager, please don’t make a big deal out of it but one gave me Asa’s name and the other gave me the detail about someone smelling so good it makes your knees weak because it’s never happened before or since, WHAT PRODUCTS WAS THAT GUY USING?; the Tampa Bay Rays for giving me something to tie my mental health to that’s not publishing; everyone at Tombolo Books in St. Pete for creating such a perfect book oasis in this community, including the Romance Book Club that is the highlight of my month; Snowcat Ridge and everything else that makes Florida weird; Harry Styles for releasing Harry’s House in time to help me finish this book; Greg Jehanian for his Instagram lives where he played songs and chatted and generally made me feel less alone at a time when I sometimes felt very alone; and Paramore for the song “Hello Cold World” that started it all.