And ever since, she’d felt . . . dreamy. Untethered. Like a balloon, released into the sky.
She was still trying to figure out how to reply to Asa’s last text when another one came in. gtg—a chat is coming in. My shift ends at 10 if you’ll still be around?
It was hard to focus on the movie after that. Lauren kept turning that question over and over in her head, trying to figure out if it meant anything. Did he want her to still be around? Or had it just been a throwaway comment, and she could leave or she could stay and it would make no difference to him either way?
Maybe what they really needed was to talk it all out, clear the air. Lauren would reiterate that she’d had a good time, but let him know that she knew it hadn’t meant anything. He’d be relieved, and would say something about how he thought she was a nice person, but they’d gotten caught up in the moment . . . then they could return to having the occasional run-in in the break room, face off in front of Dolores for the presentations, and otherwise forget the other one even existed.
Lauren wiped her hands on her skirt, her palms suddenly feeling sweaty. Okay. She could do that. She could be mature and get it all out, so they didn’t have to feel awkward around each other at work, so that she could come over to hang out with Kiki and not have it be weird.
“Are you going to eat those?” Kiki asked, gesturing to Lauren’s untouched plate of pizza rolls.
Lauren had grabbed a chicken wrap on her way home from work hours ago, but somehow she just didn’t have an appetite now. “No,” she said. “You can have them.”
“We’ll split them,” Elliot said, reaching over to grab a few off the plate as Kiki pulled it closer to her. “That’s only fair.”
Only fair. The words stuck in Lauren’s brain, tugged something loose. Maybe what she needed was for things between her and Asa to feel more even. He’d brought her to climax, seen her fall apart in front of him, but he’d been more in control the whole time. There had been moments—Lauren could still remember that sharp intake of breath when she’d first rubbed against him, the look in his eyes when he’d said he was close.
Being with Asa had switched something on inside her, and she didn’t know if it was going to go away unless she saw it through. Maybe the problem was that this was an open circuit, and she needed to close it.
Chapter
Sixteen
The minute Asa had submitted his last report and logged off the crisis chat software, he checked his phone. Lauren had never replied to his question, although he could still hear the movie coming from the living room.
He’d tried to gauge her reaction when he’d walked into the kitchen. Had she been happy to see him? Or disappointed, upset that her plan to hang out with Kiki without him around might be compromised?
He wished he could find a way to talk to her without scaring her off. The only thing he could think to do was revert back to his usual joking ways, hoping that keeping it light would at least lift the unbearable pressure off the situation.
Has the case against Santa been dismissed yet?
The three dots appeared that indicated she was typing, before disappearing again. Finally, she sent two words. Spoiler alert.
He grinned, settling back on his bed to type a response. Like they were ever going to let Santa go down for assault in a Christmas movie. What IS your favorite Christmas movie, anyway?
Why does everyone want to know that?
He assumed she’d already gotten grilled by his other housemates. It’s a very important question in this house.
You already know I don’t care about Christmas.
He thought about the energy she’d put into decorating her office with him, how closely she’d paid attention when he’d demonstrated proper gift-wrapping technique earlier that day. You care a little.
She didn’t respond for so long that he thought he’d lost her. He could always go out to the living room, join everyone for the tail end of the movie. That was probably what he would’ve done if it were a normal night, if Lauren weren’t out there.
But then another text came in, and he just stared down at it, unsure how to answer.
What are you up to?
This was Lauren Fox, texting him that question. She probably had no idea how suggestive those five words seemed just sitting at the bottom of the message screen. She’d be appalled if she knew that was where his mind went from such an innocent stimulus.
If he told her the truth—that he was just lying back in his bed, texting her—one hundred percent it would sound like he was coming on to her. Unless maybe he added the right emoji afterward. He typed it out, trying a winking face （way too flirty）， the upside-down face （too sarcastic?） . . . the fake disguise–looking face with the glasses and mustache was his best bet, but then he just deleted the whole thing.