She turns and leans her back against my chest, ass brushing against my cock. I let myself settle into the thought that maybe it’s okay to have no idea what I’m doing.
That being here with Bailey is enough.
That maybe she wants more than this arrangement, impossible as it might have seemed originally.
I spend all night on the fucking dance floor, swaying to the beat, while Bailey dances against me with a heart-rending smile on her face.
“Beau, take me home,” she finally asks.
Of course, I’m more than happy to do that too. But this time, I don’t just hold her leg at red lights. I reach back and grip her thigh for the entire wordless drive back to Chestnut Springs.
And I swear she holds me closer than she ever has before.
By the time we make it home, I’ve realized that I’ll probably give this girl anything she wants.
A ring.
Sex.
Forever.
30
Beau
Our silence carries us through the house. Somehow, the comfort between us has grown, and so has the tension.
She’s slipped into an oversized vintage Madonna T-shirt that hits her mid-thigh and casts curious glances my way through the mirror when I bring my toothbrush into her bathroom to brush my teeth next to her.
Did I take one look at my empty bathroom and then opt to brush my teeth in hers instead?
Yes.
I don’t want to be far away from her, and I’m too tired to fight it right now.
We spit our toothpaste simultaneously, and both of us awkwardly reach for the tap. Our hands bump, and we yank back like the brief touch electrocuted us.
Her eyes snag on my naked torso as I mumble, “Sorry.”
She clears her throat, blinking away. “Don’t be. What are you—”
“Where are you—”
Our words collide with each other clumsily. After a fun night spent yelling at each other over the blare of electronic music, the house is too quiet.
Too private.
We’re out of places to hide from each other.
“Can I stay with—” I start, right as she says,
“I need to masturbate.”
My earlier sentence dies on my lips. “Come again?”
“You told me I should offer it to you first.” She straightens with pride, staring at me through the mirror. “The next time I was planning on doing it.”
I stare back, hating myself for saying those words to her in a moment of weakness. Hating that I meant them, and she’s throwing them back at me when I’m already feeling so vulnerable around her.
“Listen, you can’t just maul me all night on the dance floor and expect me not to have needs. I’m not a robot like you, apparently.”
I keep staring, grappling for some semblance of control, but it’s slipping through my fingers like sand I have no hope of containing.
Bailey turns to look at me directly, forcing our gazes away from the reflective glass. Our eyes clash as the tension pulls taut between us. “I felt you hard against me, Beau. You gonna tell me that didn’t happen?” Her voice takes on a venomous tone, frustration humming at the back of her throat. “You got some big, mature, paternal words of wisdom for me about what I should and shouldn’t do with my body? Because so help me g—”
My hand shoots forward, fingers curling into her hair. Until I’m fisting it, tipping her face up to mine while I step up close, toe to toe with her, cutting her off. “Bailey, stop running your mouth or I’ll find another creative way to keep it busy.”
Her tongue darts out over her puffy rosebud lips. Her eyes are furious flames. “Good. Do it.”
My jaw pops as I squeeze a fistful of her thick, silky hair. I want to flip her over and take her hard and fast and wild. I know she’d rise to the challenge.
But I’d never forgive myself. It bothers me that what we’re doing here can be filed away as fake when it’s the most real thing I’ve felt in my life. And Bailey’s been picking up the scraps of what she can find for far too long.
No, when I take Bailey, there’s not going to be a single fake thing between us. She’s not going to need me to stay afloat to pay a bill—I won’t take advantage of her that way. I want her to need me for no other reason than she can’t stand the thought of not having me.
“Where’s that box of toys you’re always going on about?” I growl.
“Under my bed.” Her voice is breathier now, laced with nerves and anticipation.
“Good, now you’re going to show me.”
“Show you?”
I drop her hair, reach beneath her thighs, and hoist her into my arms. Her legs wrap around my waist as I march us out of the bathroom straight to her sprawling king-sized bed.