She’s been so supportive of me pursuing things with Russ, which made the whole sneaking around thing so much easier. Thankfully, she actually likes spending time with Xander. She’s even planning to invite him to visit us when we’re all back at college.
The sky is totally gray in London, despite the fact it’s August, which doesn’t set the greatest scene for Poppy’s news. Poppy sets the scene like we discussed and the smile is practically taking over her whole face as she announces the surprise. “You’re coming to London!”
“What!” Emilia shouts. “When?”
“Tomorrow!” Poppy shouts back.
Emilia looks like she’s going to burst into tears, so I usher the girls to their feet, taking them back outside to give Emilia and Poppy some privacy.
They sit beside me on the bench while we watch the football game. Russ is cheering on Billy, a more introverted kid who hated team sports nine weeks ago, as he scores a touchdown. He high fives him, praising him as the ones who I presume are also on Billy’s team jump on him.
Somebody make my ovaries shut up.
“Will you and Russ go to London?” Freya asks, plaiting the ends of my hair.
“No, sweetie. Russ is going to visit his friend JJ at his new house and I’m going to a place called Palm Springs because my dad is getting married.”
“So when will you see each other again?” Sadia is next to start messing with my hair.
Little girls are like monkeys when it comes to hair.
“We go to the same college, so we’re going to see each other when we’re back at school.” It isn’t a lie. Russ and I haven’t fully talked about what happens when we’re both back at UCMH. We still haven’t talked about what we are, which is pathetic at this point considering we’ve spent sixteen hours a day together for ten weeks. We just know that we’re both going to be there and we’re both not ready to say goodbye to this. “Why don’t you go ask him to tell you a secret?”
The girls sprint towards Russ, grabbing him as he tries to ref the game. He crouches to their height and they lean in whispering the message. He looks right at me through the space between them, smiling, and even though I can’t see, I just know I’d be able to see his dimples if I was close enough.
God, I was never supposed to be this obsessed.
I watch him whisper back and they giggle before running back to me. Sadia reaches me first. “He said he’s excited to see you at college and to ask you for one.”
“Hmm.” I tap my lips and pretend to think. “My secret is I have a really big crush on Russ.”
I expect them both to squeal and laugh and get excited, the way they do over basically everything. Freya’s hands go to her hips. “That isn’t a secret. Everyone knows that.”
“Yeah,” Sadia echoes. “You love him. Tell us a real secret.”
I didn’t expect to get called out by children today. “Okay, okay. My secret is I want to do this all again next year.”
They run back and I watch them almost crash into him. He smiles, looking over at me briefly, before saying something back. The girls run back over to me, panting after all the back and forth. Freya sits down beside me. “He said where you go, I go. These aren’t secrets, you two should just talk to each other.”
She has a point. “Brown Bears,” Jenna yells, appearing with her clip board. “You’re up!”
How long would I be able to get away with refusing to let them go?
“Go grab your jackets and backpacks, girls,” Emilia says as she reappears from the main building. We watch them run toward the rest of the group; Emilia wraps an arm around me. “You okay?”
“What if I just keep them all?”
“I think their parents will have an issue with that,” she says softly. “Three of them asked me yesterday if you’ll be back next year. They really love you, Ror. They were scared to ask you in case you said no.”
“I love them all. Even Leon. Even though he’s an asshole.”
The counselors here were such a huge part of my childhood that hearing my kids like me and want me to come back has a huge impact. I needed to come back to heal part of me that was just a little bit too broken. I’m going back to LA feeling like a new person and I truly don’t think I could have achieved that anywhere else.
“Poppy told me what you did.”
I can’t help but roll my eyes. Poppy and I had a very serious conversation where I warned her if she told Emilia I paid for and arranged her Europe trip that I’d put spiders in her bed until we graduate. “Please tell Poppy she brought what comes next on herself.”