It isn’t Emilia.
“Hey,” Russ says carefully. “Are you okay?”
Forcing a smile, I look up at him with as much enthusiasm as I can muster. “Yeah, I’m great. Are you?”
He watches me carefully before responding. “Are you really okay? Did someone bother you?”
“He’s been bothering me for twenty years, it’s totally fine.”
His mouth forms an “o” as he nods, apparently understanding immediately. “What can I do to make you feel better?” My brain immediately tells me to tell him to take his t-shirt off again, but that feels like the wrong move. So I shrug, because I don’t have the answer to what will make me feel better yet. “There must be something.”
“Tell me a secret.”
“A secret?” he repeats.
“Yeah.” I don’t know why I said it but he’s thinking about it. It’s a silly thing my sister and I started asking each other when we were kids. We’ve never been the closest siblings, but our middle ground has always been doing things we shouldn’t and it was our way of sharing.
“You make me nervous,” he says eventually, immediately taking a swig of his beer.
“That isn’t a secret,” I laugh. “That’s very obvious.”
He blows out a sigh and rubs his hand against his face. “I think you’re stunning.”
His admission catches me off guard. Stunning. I shake my head anyway, my hair dances in front of my eyes. “That isn’t a secret either . . .”
“You’re impossible,” he chuckles. His hand reaches out slowly, cautiously, tucking my hair behind my ear, hovering a little longer than necessary. “My secret is I don’t really like parties, but I’m glad I came to this one and met you. And when I couldn’t find you I was sad when I thought you’d left.”
Oh shit. “That was smooth.”
“Was it actually? Because I tried really fucking hard. I was really close to confessing to a crime I didn’t commit because of the pressure.” There he is.
“You did a great job.”
“Thanks, I don’t do this a lot. I’m uh, I’m not good at it.”
“You don’t go around telling strangers your secrets?” I hide my smile with a sip of my drink. A real smile this time.
“I don’t tell anyone usually, but I meant I’m not good at talking to people I’m interested in.”
I don’t know what it is about his uncertainty that I find so charming. Maybe it’s because even though he’s not sure of himself, he’s sure he wants to talk to me—and I’m clinging to those slivers of certainty with both hands. “You said you live here.”
“Because I do.”
“You have a room.”
“Is that a question? They don’t make me sleep outside if that’s what you mean.” This fucking guy. “Yeah, I have a room.”
Painful. Actually painful. “Are you going to . . . show it to me? You said you don’t like parties. We could get away from it.”
I practically see the lightbulb appear above his head when he realizes what I’m asking. “That depends. Are you drunk?”
“A little buzzed, but definitely not drunk. Are you drunk?”
He shakes his head, trailing his hand across my shoulder and down my arm until his fingers thread through mine. “Buzzed, but not drunk.”
Russ’ hand makes mine look tiny and our linked fingers are what I watch as he leads me through the crowd toward the stairs. Drunk people are draped over the banister watching the events of the living room, presumably waiting for a bathroom or something, but they all turn to watch us with interest. I keep my head held high and try to not let it show that I know this will be on the UCMH gossip page tomorrow.
I pull out my cellphone as he taps the door code, pulling up my chat to Emilia, and follow him into the room.
EMILIA BENNETT
Bedroom at the top of the stairs
Door code is 3993
Russ?
Yeah he’s awkward
It’s charmed me
I knew I shouldn’t have left you unattended
You sober enough to be making good choices?
When do I ever make good choices?
But yes
Remember we have breakfast with your parents tomorrow
And a flight to catch
Do you have condoms?
Yeah
Please manifest him knowing what he’s doing
The universe doesn’t care about your orgasms Aurora
Be safe
Remember to share your location
“Sorry,” I say to Russ, putting my cell back in my purse and setting it down on the bedside table. “I was just letting my roommate know where I am.”