I don’t respond because I don’t have to have this conversation with him. I don’t want to have this conversation with anyone, including myself.
He sighs, somewhat defeated. “Use my kitchen while you’re here. Figure out your recipes. Learn how not to burn the butter like an absolute amateur.”
“Shut up,” I laugh, letting the tension drift away.
“But Miller, we’re gonna have a real problem if this article and award you’re so stressed about is due to some misplaced guilt. Like you owe your dad for what he’s done, and you think you can repay him with accolades.”
“I just want him to be proud of me. After everything, he deserves an impressive daughter.”
“He has one.”
I roll my eyes. “You hated me up until like five days ago.”
“That’s an exaggeration.”
“Sorry, six days ago.”
“You freaked me out.”
“Yeah,” I laugh. “Got that.”
“No. I mean with how much Max liked you right away. That freaked me out. I’m worried about him getting attached.”
Wait. What?
I figured it was the way I spoke my mind or my lack of childcare experience that scared Kai in the beginning. Not once did I think he was worried about me connecting with his son.
“The first thing that happened in Max’s life was the woman who was supposed to love him left. I don’t want him to get used to the people he loves leaving him.”
“But I am leaving.”
“So you’ve said.” His exhale is resigned. “We’ll deal with it when we get there. For now, I want him to enjoy traveling with the team as much as he can, and I think you’re the key to that. He’s happy. He’s safe with you. We’ll figure out the rest come September.”
We’ll deal with it. We’ll figure it out. Not only Max.
His hand is on the counter right next to me as he leans back on his palms, and instinctively, I cover it with my own. Kai uses his thumb to trap my fingers, softly stroking the skin there.
“Why are you being extra nice to me?”
He doesn’t look at me, only stares at our hands. “I have no fucking clue, Mills.”
Mills.
Fuck me, every time he uses that name it seeps a little more into my veins, cracks a bit more of my heart.
Kai looms over me, his ice-blue eyes zeroing in on mine before they drop to my mouth. I want to knock that baseball hat off him, run my hands through his hair just to remember what it feels like.
“Why are you staring at my lips?”
“I’m not,” he says, looking right at them.
“You gonna try to kiss me again, Baseball Daddy? I thought that was off the table.”
He blinks, putting distance between us. “It is.”
“Oh my God, Kai. You were going to break your own rule and kiss me!”
“No, Miller, I wasn’t.”
“I thought it was Mills now?”
He shakes his head. “You ruin everything. You know that?”
I can’t hide my smile, needing to tease him for this. “How much do you hate yourself for wanting to lay one on me again?”
Hands on his hips, Kai’s head falls back in frustration, looking towards the ceiling. “Trust me, if I ever kissed you again, it will be as my last and final resort to shut you up.”
“Okay, I’ll keep talking then.”
He shoots me daggers.
“I love how much you hate that you’re attracted to me.”
Kai rolls his eyes. “Yeah, well, you and me both.”
The baby monitor begins to light up, Max’s cry wafting through the speaker.
Kai makes a move to his son’s room but before he can leave, I put a hand on his chest to stop him. “I got him.”
“But it’s your day off.”
I pop my shoulders. “I don’t need a day off. I’ll leave you to sit and stew in here over the fact that you were about to kiss your coach’s daughter again.” I go to grab Max, but before I’m out of the room, I add one more thing, so he knows this isn’t one-sided. “And cover up your guy thighs. We’re being professional here. I technically work for you, and I didn’t even know I had a thing for men’s legs until you came along with all that tatted skin and lean muscle.”
“Me?” His head jerks back. “What about you? I get hard just looking at your legs.”
We pause, the kitchen silent for a beat too long.
I burst a laugh, both of us unable to stop from smiling like lunatics at each other from across the room. “We’re so professional.”