Soon Renner’s lost to the crowd, wading through like a member of BTS after a concert. He seems to be having the time of his life chatting with everyone. Meanwhile, I’m awkwardly chilling on the sidelines, eavesdropping on Renner’s aunt Lynn telling someone about how she plans to divide her ashes in Mason jars for her family to display on their fireplace mantels. Is this what adults talk about on the regular? I feel like an awkward grade-schooler at recess, walking around the perimeter with no friends to play with.
I pounce when Nori finishes her conversation with Heidi, a girl a grade below us （who I was never even friends with）。 “Going back to the scene of the crime didn’t work?” she asks quietly, offering me a carrot from her plate.
“The gym was occupied all day with students. They’re decorating for prom. We’re gonna go back tonight when everyone is gone.”
“I have a feeling it’ll work,” she says with confidence. “And if it doesn’t, maybe this is all a dream. Maybe you’ll wake up tomorrow in your regular life.”
Wouldn’t that be nice . . .
“Or maybe your memories will come back,” she says as though it’s that simple. Like at any given moment, more than a decade’s worth of memories will return.
I steal another carrot from her plate. “Either way, I don’t know how long I can pretend, nodding when people talk to me about anal gland expression.”
She doesn’t bother to inquire about that one. “You know, when you two first walked in, I thought things had gone back to normal.”
“Why would you think that?” I ask, stealing a glance at Renner. He’s standing on Ollie’s deck, delighting in the attention.
“The way you guys came in holding hands, staring into each other’s eyes adoringly. It kind of looked like you wanted to suck his face off.” Her eyes are all starry and wistful.
I nearly gag. “Adoringly? No. That was a carefully planned act we agreed upon two seconds before walking in.”
She winks at me, crunching a celery stick loaded with ranch dip. “All I’m sayin’ is, you coulda fooled me. You looked blissfully engaged.”
I see what she’s getting at and I won’t be lured. “I won’t be marrying that man,” I say, holding stubborn.
“Suit yourself. But if I had someone who looked at me like that, I wouldn’t be in a rush to ditch them, even if I were trapped in an AU—” Nori stops, eyes widening over my shoulder.
When I turn around, everyone is staring at me. Renner is beside Ollie, waving me over.
“What’s going on?” I ask through clenched teeth, approaching tentatively.
“They want us to give a speech,” he whispers, tugging me by the hand.
Oh no.
My knees instantly weaken. See, I’m good at public speaking. Speeches are my bitch. But I cannot speak off the cuff. Speeches take planning. Forethought. Word-for-word memorization. I can’t cope without my color-coded cue cards.
Before I have the chance to spiral and run away, Renner kicks things off. “Char and I just wanted to thank each and every one of you for being here tonight. Especially Ollie and Lainey for generously hosting. It’s rare to have everyone we love in one place, but Char and I are so thankful to have you all in our lives.”
My fingers, which were locked tightly between his, loosen ever so slightly as he begins speaking with surprising ease. How is he so relaxed right now?
“To be honest, I’m just as surprised as you all are to be standing here tonight. As many of you may recall, Char hated me in high school. And I mean hated.” Everyone laughs good-naturedly as Renner gives me a wink. I swear his eyes are sparkling. “Many hours were dedicated to pissing each other off. I learned very quickly that there are three surefire ways to annoy Char. First, being tardy. In fact, half the time she’s not even satisfied with being on time. If you’re not early, you’re late. Second, singing the wrong lyrics with any ounce of confidence. Third, losing. She cannot stand to lose. Board games. Bets. Student council elections.” He lets that one linger, smirking at me when I shoot him a look.
“Shit. Thirteen years still too soon for that joke,” he says, garnering more laughs and a loud snort from Mom. “I’m shocked I’m still alive after that election. Anyway, I never really knew what started it all . . . and still don’t. I never told her this, but the truth is, I was in awe of her from the moment we met. She’s always the smartest, most driven, most beautiful person in any room. And maybe my teenage self felt intimidated.