"Here we go," I mumble to myself and see the three men, all with a beer in one hand and spatulas in the other hand, look up and glare at me.
"Smells good," Harlow says, letting my hand go while she walks over to her father and kisses his cheek. She mumbles something in his ear while she walks over to Beau and Jacob.
I take a deep breath, seeing her smile with them, and then they all look over at me and nod hello. All but Casey; he just brings his bottle to his mouth and takes another pull of his beer. I put my hands in my pockets, knowing that I’m going to have to sit down with him eventually and get it all out. I’m more nervous about that than anything else. Not having his approval will hurt Harlow, and I can’t do that to her. No one says anything to me, which is even worse than asking me if I’m married.
"Okay, we are going to go and see Mom," Harlow says, and I nod at the guys and turn around to walk with her.
"I can’t eat any of the food," I say, and she laughs.
"I’ll take the first bite." She stops walking and stands in front of me, wrapping her arms around my neck. "I’ll take one for the team."
"Never." I shake my head and lean down and kiss her lips. The minute I kiss her, everything inside me settles.
"It’s going to get better," she assures me, and all I can do is lean down and kiss her neck. I let her go and look over to see her father watching us. I stare at him, nodding, and then looking around to see Olivia with a little baby in her arms. Hazel sits next to her as I look back at Casey to see him still staring at me. I motion with my head to the side, and he just nods at me. "What the hell was that?" Harlow asks.
"That’s me facing the music." I take a deep breath. "Go sit with your mom, and if I’m not back in twenty minutes, come find me." I bend to kiss her lips and see that Casey is walking toward the barn.
"Twenty minutes, he can have you dismembered and skinned," she deadpans, and my eyes widen. "I’m kidding." She puts her hand on my chest, and I look down to see that her hand is very bare without a certain ring.
"I love you." I pick up her hand and kiss the finger where a ring should be. A finger that if I wasn’t such an idiot would probably have two rings instead of just one.
"I love you more," she says and turns to walk away from me. "Don’t let him scare you."
I put my hands on my hips, shaking my head and turning to walk toward the barn. I take a look around to see that most of her cousins are here with their own kids. I step inside the barn and see Casey standing in the middle of the barn. His legs are spread shoulder width apart, and his arms are folded over his chest. I heard a rumor that he trained with the Navy SEALs for fun. "I have to give it to you." He starts talking first. "You got some big-ass balls showing up here." He laughs. "Even more balls by asking to talk to me."
I’m about to say something when I hear someone walking toward us and turn to see that Olivia is coming. "Harlow sent me in to be the peacekeeper," she says, smiling sideways at me. "I came to make sure that you," she tells Casey, "keep your head cool." She wraps her arms around Casey’s waist, and I wonder if she is doing that so he doesn’t charge at me. "Now, what did I miss?"
"He was telling me that I have big, um." I try to think of the word that is better than balls. "That I have some nerve showing up here, and I was about to say that I had to do it," I share. "Might as well get it all out now." He just glares at me, while Olivia just looks at me. "Before I start or say anything, I just want to say I’m sorry for how I acted."
"You mean when you were a dipshit," he says, and I have no choice but to laugh loud now.
"Casey Barnes," she says between clenched teeth.
"Yeah, when I was a dipshit ding dong," I add in the words Elodie said. "I never, ever wanted to hurt her. I couldn’t let her give up her family for me." I take a deep breath in and slowly exhale it. "I know how much she loves her family and that she had a plan and I couldn’t be the one who made her change it. Breaking up with her was the single hardest decision I’ve ever made."
"What about when you asked someone else to marry you?" he says, and I know he’s going straight for the jugular with this question, and he is going to get all of the answers.
"When I broke up with Harlow, it took me two years not to have this pain in my chest." I shake my head. "When I met Jennifer, I liked her enough, but it was never like Harlow, and I thought to myself that what I felt for Harlow wasn’t as big as I remembered. I kept telling myself that it was all in my head. But one look at her again, and it’s like everything I was lying to myself about was right in front of my face." I run my hand through my hair. "I don’t even think I would have been able to marry her that day. I knew from the moment I saw Harlow that I was making a mistake." I swallow. "I want to marry her." Olivia gasps, but I don’t stop. "I know in my heart that she is the only one for me. I let her go four years ago, and now that I have her back, I’m not letting her go. You can hate me." I shrug. "For the rest of my life. I won’t give her up for it. I’ll take whatever it is you have for me. I was leaving my practice," I tell them both and they both look at me shocked. "I couldn’t do the long-distance thing and I’ve already lost so much time I just couldn’t do it. So I was going to move here and be with her. I can’t live without her. I can’t breathe without her."