“Well, you didn’t text me,” he replies, and I close my eyes.
“I was going to text you in a bit,” I admit to him as soon as I calmed myself down.
“Can I come up?” he asks me. No, my head screams, you can’t come up here.
“Um, sure,” I say, walking back inside and toward the front door. “We are apartment four,” I tell him right before I press the buzzer.
stefano
. . .
T he sound of the buzzer makes me take a step toward the glass door, pulling it open. The door clicks open as I step into the apartment building. The staircase is on one side while brass mailboxes are on the other. Putting my aviator glasses on top of my head, I take the six steps up that lead me to apartment one and two before turning and walking up more steps where I get to another landing, but this one only has one door with the number three on it.
The closer I get to her apartment, the more nervous I get. I spent the better part of the day looking at houses. It was the most surreal experience of my life. Choosing a house, knowing that I’m going to have a child grow up in it. I was worried about the school district. I was worried about parks in the neighborhood. I was even worried about the fucking crime rate in the area. It was as if, overnight, I became my uncles and it suddenly all made sense. All of their overbearing craziness they do, I understood it all.
I take a deep inhale as I come up to the next landing, seeing her door with the number four next to the door that is number five. I stand in front of the brown door and literally psych myself up. “You’ve got this,” I tell myself. “She’s four, how hard can it be?” I take one more deep breath before I knock on the door.
I can hear the sound of little feet running on the other side of the door, and a smile just fills my face. “Who is it, Momma?” I hear her voice. “Is it pizza?”
“I don’t think so,” Addison says, “but we should see who it is.”
“Look inside the hole,” Avery shouts, “in case it’s a killer!”
I shake my head, chuckling at the way she said the word. “Go get dressed,” I hear Addison say to her before I hear her little feet running away from the door. The sound of the locks opening makes my heart speed up a touch faster, my hands get even more sweaty as I hold the bags in them. The door swings open and I see Addison with a smile on her face. “Hi,” she says, holding the door handle.
She’s wearing black dress pants that hug her curves and stop at her ankles, her feet are bare. The white button-down shirt flows around her and is tucked into the pants. She looks so professional, and I wonder if she’s as nervous as I am. “Welcome.” She moves aside for me to step inside.
“Thank you,” I say, nodding at her as I walk in and stand on her little carpet at the door, “for
having me.” I take a look around at the small apartment that is neat and tidy, but bare and minimal. She has a small two-seat couch with a TV stand with a tiny television on it. The kitchen and dining area are right on the other side of the room.
“What do you have there?” Addison asks me as she closes the door behind me.
“I brought her flowers,” I say, holding up the flowers I picked up right before I got here. “I got pink flowers since they looked like princess flowers,” I tell her, nervously holding them up for her to see them.
“Those are very pretty,” she admires, with a smirk on her face.
“I also bought her a couple of things.” I hold up the two bags of toys I bought her today. “Some toys and some princess things.”
Addison comes over and puts a hand on my arm. “Are you nervous?” she asks me, and I chuckle nervously.
“I have never been this out of my comfort zone before in my life,” I admit to her. “I spent a full two hours at the toy store going aisle by aisle. Picking up things and then putting them down. Then going back over again.” I shake my head. “I’m sure at one point the salesgirl thought I was lying about buying anything because she just left me there.”
“Whatever you chose, I’m sure will be amazing,” Addison assures me, and then I hear the small feet running out from one of the bedrooms. Her hair is flying everywhere as she runs to the front door, her dress swooshing around her legs.
“I know you,” Avery states from beside Addison, her arm wrapped around her leg as she sizes me up. “You called me the prettiest princess in all the land.”
“You do know me,” I say nervously, but excited she remembers me. “I brought you flowers,” I say, handing her the bouquet and realizing it’s maybe a bit too big for her. “I got pink because I think they look like princess flowers.”