He does not make a move to hold my hand, instead he leans back onto the couch. “You understand.” I nod. “What is it you understand?”
“Well, I think it’s pretty obvious.” I avoid looking at him and instead I turn my head and scratch my neck, pretending it’s itchy.
“Well, it’s not obvious to me, so why don’t you tell me what you understand.”
“This isn’t for you,” I finally say it. “You have to go work and even though you tried to—I don’t know—be happy here. You aren’t.” I look at him and he stares at me with his mouth hanging open. “I understand, trust me, I know.”
“You understand.” He says his words in a whisper.
“I know that we are going to have to come up with a parenting plan.” I put my hands together to stop them from shaking. “She starts school soon, so you are going to have to come up and see her when you can, of course. And then, of course, whenever you come home here, she can come and stay with you.” I literally think I’m going to vomit. I jump up, shocking Stefano as I rush away from him, running to the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and close my eyes, counting to ten. I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth. “It’s going to be fine,” I say, walking over to the sink and turning on the cold water. “It’s going to be fine.” I wet my hand and then tap my cheeks. “It’s going to be fine. You’ll be fine.” I close my eyes, take a deep breath in, and open the door, screaming when I see him standing there. “Holy shit, you scared the bejeezus out of me.”
“Good,” he declares, his tone tight, “hopefully now the real Addison is with me, and not whoever left that room.” He points at the living room, making me pissed.
“I was trying to help you,” I growl between clenched teeth.
“Trying to help me?” he asks me and I never will get over how hot he is. Like today when I saw him, I couldn’t help but stare at him. His hair is longer than I’m used to and his beard looks like he hasn’t trimmed it since he left. He also looks a touch tired, but I thought it was because he was feeling guilty about what was going to happen. “How were you trying to help me?”
“Oh my God.” My hands fly up. “I don’t know why I have to spell it out for you. I know.” I fold my arms over my chest.
“You know?” he replies, and I don’t know why but I think he’s smirking at me. “You know I’ve had the worst four days of my life?” he asks. I don’t say anything, only because he doesn’t wait for me to answer him. “That for the past twenty-four hours I was huddled into a room, trying to make the logistics work so I don’t have to go into the field anymore.” My mouth opens. “I mean, I will still have to go into the field, but it’ll be two days… tops. I’ll get what I need and then come home. I spent over six hours on the phone with Casey Barnes discussing it,” he informs me. “Five hours and fifty-five minutes of him threatening me also, by the way.” He holds up his hand to make sure I don’t speak.
“Rush home to my girls because I’m miserable without them.” If I wasn’t so pissed, I might sigh, but I am, so I don’t. “Guilt eating at me for missing bedtimes. I’ve missed too much already. I’m not missing more. Put my foot down, spoke with who I needed to speak to. I’ll do my part for the business because I’m good at it and because I like it, but I’ll do it from nine-to-five in the comfort of my house.”
“Stefano,” I whisper.
“Rush home with a plan to wine and dine you and ask you guys to move in with me.” His voice gets louder. “Only to be given the cold shoulder and then you sit there and tell me you know.” His eyes almost glare at me. “Not even a kiss. Four days I’ve been gone, and you aren’t even happy to see me.”
I know he’s throwing a lot of stuff at me. I know I need to focus on what he is saying, but the only thing I can zoom in on is: “You want us to move in with you?”
“Um, yeah,” he says like I should have known this. “Didn’t you know?”
I roll my eyes at his last remark. “Addison, I’m in love with you,” he declares, his voice soft and quiet, which makes my heart literally skip a beat. “Like, so in love with you.” I blink away the tears.
“And it has nothing to do with Avery. It has to do with when you hold my hand, I feel a sense of peace. It has to do with when you kiss me, my heart speeds up. It has to do with when you smile at me, I feel like I could take on the world with just you by my side.”