I used to watch my father’s interviews and think he was this paragon of wisdom, with his perfect answers that made everyone feel heard, but today, all I can think as I listen is how meaningless his words are. How he doesn’t say a single thing that reflects what he truly believes but is always selling you something…and selling it a little poorly, if you ask me. He’s not as smart and suave as he thinks he is, and reminds me, uncomfortably enough, of my ex-husband. I don’t want to look at that too closely.
By contrast, there’s something blunt and forceful in the way Caleb answers a question—he sounds as if he’d rather not be there at all—and it has me squeezing my thighs together beneath the notepad in my lap. Caleb-as-grumpy-asshole could be its own fetish category, and I’d pay money just to watch him in action.
Toward the end, they’re asked about work-life balance. Robert weighs in immediately because that’s his whole schtick. Family is everything. Values matter. Always make the responsible choice. He manages to say it so convincingly that I sometimes wonder if he’s just forgotten what he did.
“It’s vital,” he begins, and I roll my eyes. “My family is what’s kept me grounded all these years and gives me the reason I do what I do. Fortunately, I’m quite lucky to have both my children doing it with me now.”
I’ve heard him reference ‘both’ his kids so many times that it no longer makes a dent, but Caleb’s jaw is clenched. My phone, resting on my thigh, vibrates.
CALEB
I can set the record straight for everyone in this room. Just say the word.
I love that Caleb is willing to do that for me, consequences be damned, but I glance up and shake my head. I’d rather have people not realize my father has three kids than know he’s so ashamed of one he wants to forget her existence.
When the panel concludes, the moderator steps up to the podium. “Before everyone leaves, please note that there’s been a change to the schedule. ‘Employee Fitness and Community Building,’ in Ballroom A, has been cancelled. DeeDee Murray of Underwood Enterprises will discuss ‘Empowering Women to Take Leadership Roles’ in its place.”
I stare at him, confused. Employee Fitness was my presentation. I look at Caleb…who appears just as dumbfounded as me.
“What the hell?” Mark asks. “They didn’t tell you, did they? Because they sure didn’t tell me.”
“No,” I whisper, relieved and disappointed at once. I didn’t actually want to do the presentation, but it would have looked good on my resume, and I spent a lot of time getting ready for it.
We walk to the stage, where Caleb is talking to one of the conference planners. “That’s not an answer,” he snaps. “I want to know why the fuck it was cancelled and why she wasn’t given any advance notice. This is absolutely unacceptable.”
She looks toward me and then murmurs something to him, her eyes flickering toward me as she says it.
Caleb stiffens…and marches back toward the curtain my father disappeared behind seconds earlier.
“I have no idea what’s happening,” says Mark.
I nod in agreement, though I’m starting to put it together.
Because my session was mysteriously cancelled and replaced with a presentation by an Underwood employee, and Caleb just took off after Robert as if he’s going to kick his ass.
My father told them to cancel me. It wasn’t enough to erase my presence as a child. He’s doing it here, in a professional setting. Maybe he was worried I’d mention him if given a public forum—does he not realize just how much more public this could get? My mother signed an NDA. I haven’t signed shit. And sabotaging me professionally is not the way to keep me silent.
I run up the stage steps and push back the curtain just as Caleb’s fist slams into Robert’s face. The only thing keeping my father upright are the guys in suits behind him. I’m standing by Caleb’s side when he finally looks back at us, and there’s recognition in his eyes—which I guess makes sense given how much I resemble my mom.
This is a moment I’ve pictured a thousand times: the way he’d suddenly realize everything he gave up and the wave of remorse that would hit him afterward. But those were dreams I had as a kid, as a teen. I know they’re not going to come true now, and more importantly…I no longer care. This asshole let me shuffle from apartments to trailer homes my entire fucking childhood, let me scrape around for scholarships and financial aid to get my degree, and today he cancelled my presentation.