In my only real relationship prior to this, things went dramatically downhill the moment they were official. With Caleb, it’s been the opposite. He’s wonderful with the twins, but also wonderful with me. He provides things I didn’t even know I needed until they’re presented to me. He knows Jeremy’s cheating left a mark, so when he’s traveling, he sends me his itinerary. After he met with Kate to discuss everything, he called me and reported back every word. The part of me that is still fragile and shaken gets a little less so every day, entirely because of him.
The twins and I make a series of sand birthday cakes, but their interest is waning. They both watch Harrison pop up on his board and ride a moderate wave. Like Caleb, he makes it look effortless.
“What happens if they fall?” Henry asks quietly, just as Harrison dives off and reemerges, laughing.
“You’re the science guy,” I reply. “What happens when you fall into water?”
Henry doesn’t answer, but continues to watch, as does Sophie, though her glances are less curious than they are irritated. “I don’t want to wear a wetsuit,” she announces, rising.
“The water’s pretty cold, Sophie. You wouldn’t be able to stay out long without it.”
“Fine,” she says angrily, stomping back up the beach, where she proceeds to put on the wetsuit alone, howling in frustration with how tight it is around the legs. Caleb comes out of the water to get her and within minutes she’s balancing on one of the big foam boards. “Mommy!” she screams, “look! Henry! Henry! Look at me. You’re not look—”
She goes over the side and Caleb is next to her in seconds, lifting her back onto the board.
“Henry!” she yells. “Did you see me?”
He turns away and I laugh. “Henry, throw her a bone. Tell her you saw her.”
He glances at me and, wordlessly, marches up the beach for his wetsuit and brings it back so I can help him put it on. I bite my tongue as I tug it over his legs, holding in the desperate way I want to encourage him: You’re going to love this, Henry; I’m so proud of you; You’re going to do great.
I don’t say a fucking word, because Henry’s like a timid animal at times like this—even the smallest errant movement can set him off. If he’s going out there solely to keep Sophie from bragging about it for the rest of the day, so be it.
Caleb seems to sense that he needs to tread lightly. He puts Sophie in the care of Liam and Harrison, gets the second board and approaches without too much fanfare, catching my eye and raising a brow. I give him the tiniest nod and he reaches for Henry’s hand.
“Hop on and I’ll push you out,” he says.
Henry swallows, staring at the board, not moving. And then, in the distance, Sophie shouts his name again and he moves forward, lying down just the way she did, his jaw set with grim resignation.
“Here goes nothing,” I say to myself, watching Caleb paddle him out to the break.
Sophie goes whizzing past them, sure-footed and proud of herself, yet another thing that’s come naturally to her. It could easily set Henry off, but Caleb simply pulls the board away from Liam and Harrison so that Henry won’t be discouraged by his sister’s success.
Once they’re in position, Caleb waits for a small wave and pushes the board, but Henry lies flat, making no effort whatsoever to stand. Through the next few waves, he progresses to his forearms, then his knees and my breath holds, waiting for the moment he’ll get discouraged and quit, waiting for Caleb to grow impatient—because even I’d be growing impatient by now.
On his fifth wave, Henry stands. It lasts only a second, but Caleb is thrilled.
“Hell yeah!” he cheers, as ecstatic as the father of an Olympic medal winner.
On his sixth wave, Henry gets up and stays up. His balance is shaky—he doesn’t make it look easy, the way Sophie does. And it doesn’t matter in the least.
“Mommy! Caleb!” he shouts. “Look at me!”
He’s smiling as he goes over the side.
My eyes cloud with happy tears, and even from this distance, I can tell Caleb’s have too.
EPILOGUE
CALEB
We meet with the developmental pediatrician, Dr. Stein, just before the new school year begins. He brings us back while Henry plays in the waiting room—Jeremy hasn’t shown up, of course.
Lucie squeezes my hand as we follow him to his office, and I thank God I came. Life at work is a lot calmer than it was, but it’s still not calm: Caldwell was furious about my failure to show up in Hawaii, and even more furious when I told him I couldn’t move to New York. We’re back to square one, but I’ve hired someone to find us investors and promoted Mark to Chief Operations Officer. His first job as COO was to fire Kayleigh after I caught her telling Lucie off, which had apparently become a routine occurrence.