“Absolutely not. Are you out of your mind?” I don’t know if I’m asking him or telling him.
“Could be,” he concedes, smiling at me as he gets up. “Either way, I want you to come this weekend.”
“I have to get ready for work,” I tell him because I can’t think of anything else to say. My heart is speeding so fast in my chest that it’s all I hear in my ears.
He comes over to me and looks in my eyes while he pushes away the hair from my face. “You are beautiful,” he says softly before he bends his head and kisses me until I have trouble remembering what we were just talking about. “I’ll call you later.” He rubs his nose with mine before walking out and closing the door behind him.
Just like that, he’s gone as if I dreamed the whole thing. I blink my eyes a couple of times, and I’m about to pinch myself. “Did this just happen?”
matthew
“We leave Sunday morning until Wednesday,” I hear someone say from the other side of the room.
Everyone groans, including me. “Back-to-back games in Philadelphia and then Pittsburgh.”
“Pack your hats and coats, people.” I turn to see the public relations guy say, “They got snow two days ago.”
“Snow isn’t that bad,” I state, getting up and slipping on my sweater with the team logo in the middle and my number forty-five on the corner of it in small numbers. “If it’s snowing, it means it’s not below zero outside.”
“Good point,” Brock says from his side of the bench. “Remember last year when we went to Winnipeg, my nostrils froze walking off the plane.”
I laugh at the guys telling stories of when it was the coldest, grabbing my phone and keys. “See you tomorrow, boys,” I say, walking out toward my car. Pushing the steel door open, I step into the underground parking lot.
Looking down at my phone, I pull up her name and smile when I press the call button. I unlock my car door as it starts the second ring. “Ugh, hello,” she says, huffing.
“Good afternoon,” I greet, my voice chipper.
“What do you want, Matthew?” she returns, and I can just imagine the scowl on her face.
“Do you want to have dinner with me?” I ask, knowing full well what her answer is going to be.
“No,” she declares, not surprising me.
I roll my lips to stop myself from bursting out laughing. “Okay.”
“Goodbye.” She disconnects and my chest fills with this feeling of fullness.
I pull out of the parking garage and the next person I call is my father, who answers after the first ring. “Hey,” he greets.
“Hey,” I reply, pulling out and going toward my house. “What’s up?”
“Not much, just going to go and ask your mother what she wants to eat for dinner,” he says. “What about you? What are you up to?”
“Not much. Going to go home, grab dinner, and head to see Sofia,” I share, waiting for him to say something.
“So you spoke with her?” he asks softly.
“I did,” I confirm, taking a deep inhale and then letting it out. “I think it was the hardest conversation I’ve ever had.”
“Did you two clear the air?” I think about how to answer this question because it’s not so cut and dry.
“When she told me I broke her fucking heart.” I can hear her voice in my head. “I hated myself.” I swallow the lump. “I was the one who was supposed to protect her and I am the one who caused her pain.”
“Have you said that to her?” My father is never going to judge you. Not once. He’s going to sit down and talk things out. I don’t answer him before he says, “Communication is key, Matthew.” I pull into the driveway of my house, leaning my head back against the headrest. “If you don’t tell her how you feel, she’ll never know.”
“You’re right,” I tell him, rubbing my hands over my face. “I have to tell her everything and not hold back.”
“You also have to prepare yourself for the fact that she may have moved on,” he warns me, and just the thought shatters me. At just that thought, my heart which felt so full before now feels like someone has reached into my chest and ripped it out. “It’s not an easy thing to do, trust me, I know.” He breathes out heavily. “When I couldn’t go to your mom and I had to wait out the year, it was the longest time of my life. Knowing she could move on at any second motivates me to be the man she deserves. And now look at us,” he says, and I can picture the smile forming on his face.