I went outside to where the smokers had been banished and sincerely debated just going home. Yes, it would be rude because Amy was my sister, but honestly, she didn’t actually care if I was there. As the semi-responsible adult, however, I needed to make sure she made it home okay. And to survive until the end of the night, I needed a buddy.
So I called Alex.
He answered on the third ring. “What’s wrong?”
“Are you home?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Do you mind coming out to Adams Morgan? I need reinforcements.”
Alex laughed. “Sure. Let me just change and get an Uber. Be there in like half an hour?”
“I owe you. Big time.”
He laughed again. “You can pay me in jumbo slice and leftover cake.”
“Deal.”
I had a beer waiting for him when he got there and greeted him with it as soon as he walked in. He looked me over, but refrained from commenting on my newly blonde hair, probably because I had been complaining about it nonstop in texts. “Nice belt.”
I looked down. I had forgotten I still had the condom belt on. I yanked it off and dropped it in the trash.
“Now that’s just a waste. You could hand them out to all of the people who are about to make terrible decisions tonight.”
“The maid of honor made them by hooking the packages together with safety pins.”
Alex shook his head. “Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, I’m guessing.”
“She’s not even a knife. She might be a spoon.”
“I’m sure she’s a very sharp spoon.” He looked around. “I haven’t been here since before I was married.”
“You weren’t allowed out when you were married?”
“If I was a good boy, I could go to the movies.” He rolled his eyes at me. “You don’t still come to places like this, do you?”
“God no.”
A bar-top table opened up and we looked at each other, then made our way over. The two seats were pulled next to each other, providing a clear view of the rest of the bar. “We’re officially the oldest people here,” Alex said.
“Except that guy, who I think owns it.”
“Nah, he’s a narc.”
I laughed. “Oh God, we’re old.”
He gestured with his beer. “So I’m guessing your sister is the one in the veil.”
“Yup. That’s Amy.”
“And the guy eating candy off her neck? Not your future brother-in-law?”
“Nope. Total stranger. Super classy.”
“Definitely runs in the family.”
I leaned my head on his shoulder. “I missed you.” Between the shower, the bachelorette party, Caryn’s salon mess, and trying to keep my head above water at work, I hadn’t seen him in person since the night I got back from Mexico.
He leaned his head on mine. “I’m here now,” he said quietly. “This seems pretty under control.”
“Who’s this?” Amy was suddenly at our table, a drink in one hand, the other on her hip. “Lily, do you have a secret boyfriend?”
I picked my head up, annoyed, the moment gone. “No. This is Alex.”
“Amy,” she said, sticking out her hand. “I’ve heard absolutely nothing about you.”
Alex laughed. “I’m crushed. I’ve heard all about you.”
“Don’t believe a word Lily tells you. I’m delightful.”
“Funny, she told me you’re delightful. I guess that’s wrong.”
“She did not.”
“Did.”
Amy turned to me. “I like him. Where have you been hiding him? He’s cute too.”
“We’re just friends, Amy.”
“So, friend, what do you do?”
“I’m a lawyer.”
Amy raised her eyebrows at me. “Single?”
“Divorced.”
“Kids?”
“No.”
“And you’re not dating my sister because—？”
“I’m gay.”
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry—I didn’t mean—”
“He’s not gay. We’re just friends.”
Amy made a face at me. “I need another drink,” she said, downing the rest of hers and handing me the empty glass. “Will you get me one?”
I glared at her, but got up to comply. Amy slid comfortably into my seat. “So, Alex,” she began. I made my way to the bar.
The crowd had begun to pick up. I had forgotten that the under-thirties didn’t even leave their houses until eleven and anything before midnight was early. It took much longer to get the bartender’s attention, so I ordered another drink for myself and another beer for Alex as well while I was there.