Naomi: I distinctly remember her saying she had today off. Chloe told Waylay Sloane had plans last night, but no one seems to know what they were.
Stef: Hopefully she’s getting laid.
Lina: We haven’t heard from her since 7:13 p.m. last night. Nobody gets laid for that long.
I smirked reading Lina’s text. I turned the screen so Lucian could read it. “Well, that’s not true,” I said smugly.
“You’d better tell your friends that,” he said, pointing to the next message.
Naomi: Maybe we should go to her house?
“Uh-oh,” I said.
Lina: Nash and I are naked but we could be unnaked in about ten minutes. Try calling her again and we’ll get dressed.
“Shit,” I muttered, thumbs flying over the screen.
Me: No need for a welfare check. I’m alive and well. Just busy!
“They’re going to know what you’re busy doing,” Lucian pointed out, running his hand down my ponytail.
“Damn it.” He was right. “I’ll tell them I’m cleaning the house.”
“Naomi will be over here with a truckload of cleaning supplies in five minutes,” he predicted. “Pick something they’ll all find unpleasant.”
“I’ll go with the truth then. They’ll be horrified,” I joked.
His grip on my hair tightened. “Would you rather spend the afternoon being interrogated by your friends or letting me fuck you?”
Me: I’m having my septic tank pumped! The fumes are powerful! Anyone want to come over for game night?
25
I Will Not Apply a Chemical Peel to My Dick Lucian
It was an exceptionally gray Monday. The invigorating February air was razor sharp as it hit my lungs. I felt awake, alive, ready to greet the day and destroy my enemies.
“Good morning, sir,” my driver greeted me.
“Morning, Hank,” I said, sliding into the back seat of the SUV. “How was your weekend?”
He blinked. “Um, fine, sir. Is everything all right?”
“Everything is excellent.”
“That’s…good.” He closed the door with a look of concern.
I pulled out my phone and typed a text to Sloane.
Me: Good morning.
I frowned at the words. They seemed flat and inconsequential considering the sexual acrobatics we’d performed all weekend long.
Me: Good morning, beautiful.
No. Definitely not. That one made me sound like a lovesick Morgan brother. I immediately deleted the text. What was the appropriate Monday morning greeting for the librarian who had fucked me into oblivion repeatedly?
Me: My cock is chafed.
Sloane: Good morning to you too. I think you sprained my vagina with too many orgasms.
Me: Is there some kind of balm or laser resurfacing treatment for this kind of situation?
Sloane: Repeat after me. “I will not apply a chemical peel to my dick.”
Me: I had two charley horses in my calves last night.
Sloane: Poor baby. Drink some pickle juice and then tell me how I’m supposed to not think about our rabid fucking every time I sit down today.
Me: If I have to be haunted by our poor choices so do you.
Sloane: Good thing we wised up and won’t be making the same mistake again. Our sex parts need time to heal.
Me: Glad we got it out of our systems. I haven’t even thought about you naked at all in the last four seconds.
Sloane: Hold please. I need to get through a staff meeting today without thinking about your “staff.”
She would think about me all day long, I decided with manly satisfaction as I pocketed my phone. Good. Not that I’d give her a second thought, of course.
“What happened?” Petula demanded the second I stepped off the elevator.
“With what?”
“You look cheerful. Did you unseat another senator?”
“I had a nice weekend,” I said with as much dignity as I could muster.
Petula rattled off the morning’s appointments while shooting me suspicious looks.
“What’s with the face?” Lina asked, stepping out of the kitchen. I realized that for once, I wasn’t the first person in the office. In fact, half of the staff was already here, gearing up for the day. I must have slept later than I thought thanks to She Who Shall Not Be Thought Of.
“Thank you, Petula. I’ll take it from here,” I said, dismissing her.
“If he starts to look feverish, I want to know,” Petula told Lina. “I have a medical team on standby.”
“There’s nothing wrong with my face,” I assured my newest employee.