“I’m not sayin’ it’s true. I’m sayin’ what you put in a dating profile is what you think are your best qualities. And all your ass is sayin’ is that you like cats and weird hair.”
“Then there’s the fact that you’re dressed in an elf costume,” Lina piled on. “Sloane, you’re a smart girl. Why in the hell would you ever pick this picture?”
“The lighting was great. I liked my smile. And the angle made my cheekbones look more defined. Besides, I thought showing me with a cat would tell guys that I’m nurturing.”
“Why the fuck do you want to look nurturing?” Knox asked, horrified.
“Because she’s ready to settle down and start a family,” Naomi told her husband.
“I need a drink,” Lucian muttered under his breath. He left the room.
“No offense, Sloaney, but this profile doesn’t make you look like marriage material. It makes you look like a human red flag,” Nash said.
“Are these rules written down somewhere?”
“Yeah, on a place called the internet,” Knox shot back.
“Great,” I muttered. “So how do I fix this?”
“Now, that we can help you with,” Lina announced.
By the time Lucian returned to the room with a tumbler of liquor, I was standing against the stone fireplace holding a glass of wine—which according to Naomi said responsible but fun—with my hand on my hip, pretending to laugh at something self-appointed art director Knox was saying while Lina took pictures.
Nash had removed a lampshade from a floor lamp and was angling the light bulb in my face.
“I’m hilarious and you’re having the best fucking time,” Knox insisted on a near snarl.
“Maybe if you’d tell me a joke,” I suggested, wondering if I should have just skipped over dating and gone straight to the sperm bank instead.
“Hmm. Do you think we should show more boob or more stomach?” Lina asked, cocking her head and studying me.
“Boob,” the Morgan men said in unison.
Lucian was looking at me with a strangely murderous expression on his face. I stared back.
“Oh, I think we’ve got one. You look all smoldery and sexy,” Lina said, studying the phone screen.
Naomi peeked over her shoulder. “Yet approachable and interesting.”
Knox and Nash leaned in to give their opinions.
“Hot, but not too hot,” Knox decided.
“You’ll land a husband in no time,” Nash agreed. “And we’ll make sure he’s worthy when you do.”
“Let me see,” I demanded.
I glanced at the screen when they held it up and felt heat rise in my cheeks. I’d been giving Lucian the side-eye. That was how I looked when I looked at him? My chin was jutted out, lips parted, eyes smoldering. I looked hot…and horny.
Damn. I actually looked good.
Lucian approached and, to my humiliation, peered at the photo. His gaze returned to me, and I knew he got it. He knew that I’d been looking at him. That that look had been just for him. What was one more secret between the two of us?
“I need a real drink,” I muttered, putting my untouched wine down on the coffee table.
Wordlessly, Lucian handed me his glass and walked out again. I gawked down at it in surprise.
Naomi nudged me. “Look at you two playing nice.”
“Told you electrocuting them wasn’t stupid,” Knox said.
“It’s just a truce,” I said. Then I helped myself to a slug of what turned out to be very nice bourbon.
Waylay sauntered into the room and threw her arm around Naomi’s waist. “What’s going on in here?”
“I thought you were fixing your teacher’s laptop,” Naomi said, brushing Waylay’s hair out of her face.
The girl shrugged. “I finished that in, like, ten minutes. People really need to pay attention to their virus software. Easiest thirty bucks I made all week. Anyway, you guys sounded like you were having more fun than I was. I came to snoop.”
“We’re helping Sloane with her dating profile,” Naomi explained.
“Cool. Can I have more cobbler?” Waylay asked.
“Only if you get me a second helping,” Nash called from where he was putting the shade back on the lamp.
Naomi opened her mouth, but Waylay held up a hand. “Sorry, Aunt Naomi. But a grown-up already said I could and I’m not willing to wait for a second opinion.”
“Fine, but I’m coming with you and making sure your second helping doesn’t weigh half a ton,” Naomi conceded. They headed for the kitchen just as Lucian returned with another glass.