“I think part of the reason it was so hard was seeing the way it affected Seth growing up. I care more about him than I do myself, and he always wanted answers. He needed more than Gigi and I could give him.”
“Well, you know what, honey? I’ve seen a lot in my life, and there’s some things I can tell just by looking, and that’s that you will always be exactly what Seth needs. If you weren’t, he wouldn’t have come back to you. Sometimes, we just need a little perspective and a dose of courage to get the help we need.”
Florence’s tone meant she was speaking from experience, and despite herself, Sadie felt a crack in the wall around her heart.
Before it could get any wider, she reminded herself that tomorrow meant there were only fifteen days left. There was no time for sentiment if she wanted to save her brother’s life.
Marjoram and White Pepper Macaroni and Cheese
I always bake this before someone leaves for a trip. It works for happiness and good tidings on a new adventure.
Ingredients
? lb. elbow macaroni
3 T. butter
3 T. flour
1 T. powdered mustard
1 tsp. onion powder
3 c. milk
1 egg
12 oz. cheddar （however sharp you like it）
1 tsp salt
1 tsp white pepper
? tsp. finely chopped fresh marjoram
For the topping
3 T. butter
1 c. breadcrumbs
（I recommend doubling or tripling this if you like extra topping.）
Directions
1.?Preheat oven to 350?F. Cook pasta to al dente （make sure the water is salted）。
2.?While the pasta cooks, melt the butter in a separate pot. Whisk in the flour, mustard, and onion powder, and keep stirring for about 5 minutes （if you don’t, there will be lumps）。 Stir in the milk, and simmer for 10 minutes, adding the marjoram at the last minute.
3.?Whisk in the egg, stir in ? of the cheese, add salt and pepper. Fold the macaroni into the mix, and pour into a 2-quart casserole dish. Top with remaining cheese and maybe a little Parmesan if you have some.
4.?Melt the butter in a sauté pan, and toss the breadcrumbs to coat. Spread evenly over top of macaroni dish. Bake for 30 minutes.
??14??
THE NEXT DAY WAS a maelstrom of goodbyes with the extended family as hugs were passed around like a tray of chocolate truffles, sweet and decadent until too much made you sad for no reason. But there were promises of the holidays and talk of “next year” like it was the most natural thing in the world. It filled Sadie with hope and fear, knowing none of it would be the same if she couldn’t save Seth’s life. She spent the rest of the day in her room, trying and failing a myriad of spells and potions and incantations that would satisfy the balance, but nothing worked, and it left her feeling more lost than before.
“Let me help you,” Seth argued the next day. She was sitting on the back porch, Gigi’s ashtray still unemptied, with the journal on her lap and a blanket around her shoulders. She watched the towering pines sway in the slight wind, the chimes hanging from the eaves clinking merrily.
Sadie had been avoiding him all afternoon because every time she looked at him, all she could see was a countdown. Fourteen days. Three hundred and thirty-six hours. And she’d only responded to one of Raquel’s texts asking if she was okay.
I’m fine, she’d answered. Promise.
“I’m fine,” she now repeated to her brother.
“Has anyone ever told you you’re a terrible liar? At least tell me what you’re doing.”
“Looking for a needle in a haystack?” she said, tapping the pile of papers on her knees. It was a mark of how far they’d come since he’d come back that instead of pushing him away, she handed him Gigi’s journal, letter, and her own notebooks she’d kept through the years, filled with notes and recipes and spells and ideas for the garden. The dark clouds threatened rain, mirroring her mood. Seth’s eyes narrowed as he read Gigi’s letter.
“But if you sacrifice yourself, Seth will be safe. When you give up who you are, you become someone new. And that means all the old debts are forgiven, the dark magic nullified. You’re a new creation. It’s a baptism of sorts, that kind of sacrifice. Just make sure you’re prepared for it,” he read aloud. “What the hell does that mean?”
“If I had to guess, it means I need to remove myself from the equation,” she said, her throat tight as she finally voiced the words aloud. Seth looked mutinous. “I know it can’t be that obvious, though, right? There’s something we’re missing, and it’s more elusive than a freaking well-made Gateau St. Honoré.”