“Um, no, actually. Not yet, anyway.” She took a sip of coffee.
“How far along are you?”
“You know, I don’t actually know.” She took another bite and chewed slowly, her eyes turning thoughtful.
“Oh.” Sadie was surprised but didn’t say anything else. She plumbed around for another topic of conversation, but Bethany took over.
“So, you’ve known Jake a long time,” she said, and for some reason it sounded like an accusation.
“About half my life.” Sadie nodded and tried not to think about the pool of dread thickening in her stomach.
“These really are delicious,” Bethany said again, finishing the scone. “Yeah, he used to talk about you a lot.”
It was like they were having two different conversations.
“He did?” Sadie was surprised.
“Yeah, you and your grandmother, and your brother. Sam?”
“Seth.”
“Right.” Her eyes were growing dreamier.
Too much chrysanthemum, Sadie thought, her brows pinching together. A little made you open and trusting; too much would make you spill secrets. Secrets Sadie wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to hear.
“Did you know Jake’s sister introduced us? It was all kind of a whirlwind.” She took a sip of her coffee. Black, Sadie noticed. A no-nonsense option, she’d always thought.
“He talked about you,” she repeated. “And this place, this town. When he started having trouble sleeping—well, he talks in his sleep sometimes. I agreed with his therapist. Getting out of town would be good for him. But then he talked about moving. I could feel him slipping further away.” Her finger drew circles on the table.
“Bethany, I don’t think—” Sadie started, having no idea where the sentence would take her. But it didn’t matter because Bethany looked up at her then, and there was so much guilt in her eyes, it shone like twin pools.
“When he talked about Poppy Meadows, I knew he was talking about you. And I didn’t want to lose him. I—I do love him.”
Definitely too much chrysanthemum, Sadie thought.
“I’m not sure what you’re telling me,” Sadie said softly. She should leave. Let the scones work their way out of Bethany’s system—she’d forget everything. But Sadie was glued to her seat.
“When he said he was taking time off to come look for a house here”—her voice dipped to a whisper—“I told him I was pregnant. I didn’t mean to. It just came out. I was afraid he’d come here and fall back in love with you. And he’s—well, I knew he’d want to do the right thing. You know what I’m saying?” Her eyes were darting around now, wild and worried.
“But you should have seen his eyes light up when I told him about the baby. It was like a present he’d been waiting for his whole life but didn’t know he even wanted.” Her beautiful face was twisted in anguish. “He looked so hopeful, I thought we could fix what was broken. I couldn’t tell him the truth. And then he proposed. And I said yes. And I’ve been miserable ever since. If he finds out …” She shuddered. “He’s not the type of person to forgive that kind of lie.”
“How—but oh my God,” Sadie whispered, her brain whirring, trying to piece it all together. “Bethany, he’s going to find out when you don’t get any bigger. When you’re not going to doctor’s appointments.”
“I told him I couldn’t get an appointment until after he left to come here. I took a screenshot of a sonogram picture off the internet and sent it to him.” She clapped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide, like she couldn’t believe what she’d said.
“Bethany,” Sadie groaned, her heart breaking for Jake.
“I’ve been trying ever since to actually get pregnant. Then I could tell him the dates were just a little off. But I—” She paused, “We haven’t been having sex. Not since I got here. I’m a horrible person. I’m going to hell. I’m going to break his heart.”
“You’re not a horrible person,” Sadie said automatically, hating that she always had to find the good. “You were just scared and made a bad choice. But you have to tell him. Bethany. You have to.”
“I know,” she wailed.
But even as she said it, Sadie remembered that Bethany wouldn’t remember this conversation. It would feel more like a dream to her once the effect of the scones wore off. Which left Sadie as the secret keeper.