“Mom,” Sadie said, and Florence stopped chewing and opened her eyes to stare at her daughter. Sadie could tell she was trying not to cry. “Remember your idea about the totems?”
“The one that didn’t work?” Florence laughed harshly.
“It didn’t work because the magic knew we were only giving half of ourselves.” She told them about Gigi’s letter and the sacrifice, and how she’d come to understand that she had to give up her magic. “If we take that same concept,” she said, “but instead, I channel all of my magic into it, it’ll work. I know it will. Her letter said that when you make a sacrifice like that, you become someone new. Your old self dies and you’re reborn. It’ll pay off the life debt.”
“But …” Seth started and stopped, searching for words. “But, no. You can’t.”
“Shut up, Seth. I can do what I want.”
“Honey,” her mom said, reaching a hand across the table to her, which she took, “I know how much your magic means to you.”
“It doesn’t mean anywhere near as much as Seth. You’re going to let me do this for you,” she added sternly, turning to him.
“Are you sure about this?” he demanded.
“I have literally never been more sure about anything in my entire life,” she said. “I mean, I only have one heartbreak left. I’m ready to stop living in fear. So, really, you’re doing me a favor.”
The chair legs scraped against the floor as Seth got up and surprised the hell out of Sadie by leaning down and wrapping his arms around her.
“Thank you,” he said, his voice rough. “I’ve been nearly shitting myself every day trying to find a way out of this God-forsaken disaster.”
“You know I’d do anything for you,” she said around the tightness in her throat. “Literally. Anything.”
“I know,” he acknowledged.
“Magic is at its most powerful on the full moon. We have seven days. And I don’t know how Gigi planned it this way, but it’s also the anniversary of Julian’s death. So, we’ll do it at Old Bailer and kill two birds with one stone.” She swallowed hard and ignored the flutters in her stomach. “It’s also the day of the Fall Festival,” Sadie continued. “And since Miss Janet will actually kill me if I don’t show up, I figured we could do our booth and then be at Old Bailer by midnight, which is when the moon technically sets.”
“My life,” Seth said, holding up one hand. “The Fall Festival.” He held up the other and moved them up and down like he was balancing a scale. “Good to know where I fall on that.”
“Do you or don’t you want me to save your life,” Sadie demanded archly.
“Alright, alright,” he grumbled. “But I’m not—” he started, and Sadie cut him off.
“Yes, you are working the booth with me.”
“Oh God, a lifetime of servitude? Is this what I’m in for? Maybe it would be better to let the life debt take me.”
“Sounds like you have it all worked out.” Florence smiled, and Sadie thought she could see pride there.
“If you don’t want to be there, I understand,” Sadie told her. “Actually, I can do it by myself. It might be better that way. In case something backfires.”
“Like that’s going to happen,” Seth scoffed.
“Not a chance,” Florence echoed.
“Okay,” Sadie breathed a sigh of relief, not ready to admit that sacrificing her magic alone was rather low on her wish list.
“Full moon magic,” Sage said.
“Sacrifices and life debts.” Sadie nodded.
“Just your average Friday night,” Seth said.
Sadie laughed. Her hands were trembling, and her body was too jittery, like she’d had six too many cups of coffee. They were all quiet until finally Seth asked the question Sadie didn’t want to.
“Do you think it’ll work?”
“It’ll work,” she said.
“I can’t even think about what it’s going to be like. To be able to block out the voices. I’ll be able to go out in public again.”
She tried not to think about the fact that, after everything, Seth would be left with the magic he never wanted while hers would be gone.
She listened to the chatter and saw Seth’s smile. The real one. Not the tight, close-lipped one he’d been wearing for the last few weeks as he tried to pretend he wasn’t worried. The spoons clattered, and the bread was dipped, and the bowls were emptied, and it felt like she was looking in on someone else’s life. But it was hers. And the knowledge wrapped around her like a hug that welcomed her home.