“Go where?”
“For a walk.”
“No” was tipped on her tongue, ready to roll off. But the pumpkin and ginger were hard at work in her body, absorbing into her, pulsing through her blood. She thought of half a dozen rude things to say, but none of them would come out.
His eyes softened. “Please, Sade. I … I have something I need to say.” She raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms, but as if anticipating her barked “So say it,” he added, “Privately.”
There was something in his eyes when he looked at her. Just what else could he have to say? “I should help Gigi—”
“Don’t you dare use me as an excuse, you pissant! I have everything well under control here. Raquel and I will work on the costumes. Go.”
Sadie’s eyes locked with her grandmother’s, and a silent war ensued between them. Sadie lost. As usual. She sighed, and Jake grinned in triumph.
“We’ll be back, Bambi,” he said, rubbing Bambi’s tummy as the puppy stretched out on the floor. When Sadie looked at him with raised eyebrows, he shrugged. “It’s more fitting than Chief. He’s always tripping over himself like Bambi on the ice.”
She looked back at Raquel, who was clearing dishes and singing “Unsuspecting Hearts” with a little too much meaning.
Her own heart was swimming in her chest as they followed a trail around the edge of the woods. The crickets were chirping noisily, and Sadie wished she’d brought a glass of wine with her. Their silence stretched taut. If he had something to say, she wasn’t going to drag it out of him.
When everything turned golden as the sun began to set, she tried to stay afloat amid the crashing waves of uncertainty and nerves.
“So, what’s the deal with Seth? Why’s everyone being so mysterious about him? Did he land himself in jail or something?” Jake asked, finally breaking the silence. She winced.
“He’s gone,” she said, and it wasn’t really a lie. That was one of their rules they’d established a decade ago, and Sadie knew it still stood. With a guy like Jake, those kinds of promises didn’t change. No matter what, they always told each other the truth.
“Gone where? The afterlife? Mexico?”
“I honestly have no clue, Jake. Okay? He left. That’s it. That’s all I know.” The words came out hard. Harder than she’d intended. Even though it had been a year, she still hated talking about it. Hated not having answers. It made her feel out of control, and if there was one thing Sadie liked, it was having things sorted out.
“Damn,” he said softly. “I’m sorry, Sade.”
“It’s fine—can’t you tell I’m over it?” She laughed with a bitter edge. “Anyway, Rock Creek, huh?” she changed the subject. “You going to buy it? I’ve always loved that house.”
“That’s because you love broken things,” he said in a pointed tone.
“They have a certain charm that everyone else overlooks. Or something like that.” Sadie laughed, but it came out a little strangled. The path narrowed, and Jake’s arm brushed against hers. She tried to ignore the way it sent sparks skittering across her skin.
They walked for another twenty minutes in silence until they came to a large pond and Sadie stopped, kicking off her shoes to let the earth seep into her.
The air was damp, and the crickets were louder here. She wished they were loud enough to drown out the sound of her beating heart. Her eyes trained on the lily pads, swaying sleepily on top of the water. Drifted to the brush along the shore and the blackberry bushes farther up. Remembered her and Seth spending hours picking berries and going home with purple tongues and pricked fingers and baskets nearly empty. If only she could let go of the past the way other people seemed able to. Maybe the future wouldn’t be quite so terrifying. But memories lived forever in Sadie. Indelible. The good and the bad.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Jake asked in wary voice, coming up behind her.
“What am I doing here?” she asked, avoiding his question. “What are we doing here?”
Jake sighed and placed his hands on her shoulders. Sadie stood still as starlight, letting herself revel in that small point of contact for a quiet, shining moment. It sent warmth all the way down her and pooled low in her stomach where it was on the verge of turning into longing.
“If you didn’t want to come, why’d you say yes?” he asked.
“When have I ever been able to say no to you?”